List of secrets in The Sims 2 (PSP)

Secrets are a feature introduced in The Sims 2 for PSP. They are pieces of information scattered through Strangetown, to be collected by the player. Once found, they are stored in the My Sim panel.

There are three types of secrets in the games.
 * Sim-related secrets: These secrets can be achieved by interacting with the Sim via social minigames. Personal secrets are acquired by reaching to level 4 of the chat minigame, intimate secrets are acquired by reaching to level 4 of the flirt minigame, and dark secrets are acquired after a successful intimidate minigame. A fourth Sim-related secret can only be acquired by completing goals. Townies (known as neighbors in The Sims 2 for PSP) do not have a fourth secret.
 * Secrets of a certain subject: These secrets are found in the world as secret objects, set at a random, yet predestined, order. Again, each subject has four secrets.
 * Mission-based secrets: These secrets are discovered in their own mission, just like the fourth Sim-related secrets, but are acquired in a similar fashion to Secrets of a certain subject.

Vaughan Ferretino

 * 1) (Personal): Is convinced that his dead parrot is "just sleeping".
 * 2) (Intimate): Sometimes eats baby food at the supermarket when nobody is looking.
 * 3) (Dark): This guy is totally paranoid, and thinks an outside force is controlling his entire life.

Tureen Allard

 * 1) (Personal): Secretly throws dandelion seeds onto her neighbor's lawn at night.
 * 2) (Intimate): Has been known to stay up 48 hours straight watching old cartoons.
 * 3) (Dark): Held the high score on the town's only pinball machine before it broke. Mysteriously.

Scoots Turnberry

 * 1) (Personal): Smuggles illegal wool tartan blankets into the country for extra income.
 * 2) (Intimate): Left his native land to chase skirts... he has a whole collection in his closet.
 * 3) (Dark): Moved to Strangetown to get away from the stress and strain of unemployment.

Erin Philips

 * 1) (Personal): Once accidentally poisoned her friends with a bad casserole.
 * 2) (Intimate): Used to be a track and field star... until her "Happy Juice Problem" came to light.
 * 3) (Dark): Blew all the money from her divorce on a shady pyramid scheme.

Bull Dratch

 * 1) (Personal): Has been in love with Sara Starr ever since she got to Strangetown.
 * 2) (Intimate): Hates churning butter so much that he makes a point of "contaminating" every batch.
 * 3) (Dark): Was banned from writing pamphlets because he couldn't stop making dirty jokes.

Marie Au Lait

 * 1) (Personal): Is a direct descendent of Louis Pasteur, who made milk-drinking safe for the world.
 * 2) (Intimate): Sometimes talks to the stuffed animals she named after her ex-boyfriends.
 * 3) (Dark): Likes to "spoil" mice and rats by putting imported cheese in their mousetraps.

Kristina Love

 * 1) (Personal): Ran away from home as a teenager and joined some traveling acrobats.
 * 2) (Intimate): Owns about three thousand cats, only two of whom really appreciate her.
 * 3) (Dark): Gets all her romantic advice from fortune cookies and teen magazines.

Betsy Shelton

 * 1) (Personal): Hates the Kine Society, but is really just jealous of the cool dresses they wear.
 * 2) (Intimate): Has made out with everyone in town, except the Night Beast, and it's next!
 * 3) (Dark): Fantasizes constantly about Lincoln Broadsheet... about wringing his neck, that is!

Tex Folsom

 * 1) (Personal): Was the first member of his family to graduate from middle school.
 * 2) (Intimate): Wants to make a horror movie... but where could he get half a dozen zombies?
 * 3) (Dark): Once punched himself out in a rage after subjecting himself to self-deprecating humor.

Chet Crawley

 * 1) (Personal): Got kicked out of the army because he sucked at the bugle.
 * 2) (Intimate): Once ratted out his own girlfriend to avoid jail time.
 * 3) (Dark): Used to be addicted to daytime soap operas, before he discovered video games.

Dixie Stills

 * 1) (Personal): Once wrestled professionally under the name "Southern Discomfort".
 * 2) (Intimate): You can find at least a dozen marriages in town that she has wrecked.
 * 3) (Dark): Descended from workers on an illegal juice orchard. Still cringes when she hears a siren.

Dante Hudd

 * 1) (Personal): Thinks "dynamite fishing" makes for a great first date.
 * 2) (Intimate): Sells his art online for loads of cash. Once, he made an entire Simoleon!
 * 3) (Dark): Once didn't wash for three weeks just to "see what he smelled like".

Jesse Lee Varmint

 * 1) (Personal): Has been plagued with a "gas problem" since he was a child.
 * 2) (Intimate): Can drink an entire bottle of hot sauce. It only takes him about five weeks.
 * 3) (Dark): Has been known to break into his own home at night after the saloon closes.

Cristian Allard

 * 1) (Personal): His sole joy and purpose in life is to secretly sabotage Lazlo's experiments.
 * 2) (Intimate): Can't seem to distinguish proctology from speleology.
 * 3) (Dark): Uses a complex multivariable algorithm to choose his socks every morning.

Red Sands

 * 1) (Personal): Earned early fame by inventing non-explosive "child-safe" TNT.
 * 2) (Intimate): Has perfect plan for doomsday device, but can't obtain public funding.
 * 3) (Dark): Stays up late each night trying to transmute gold into lead.

Jane Koch

 * 1) (Personal): Her parents gave her dolls and dresses, but she used them as hostages and tourniquets.
 * 2) (Intimate): Unknown to ANYONE in town, her REAL name is "Janet." Shocking!
 * 3) (Dark): Hates clay pigeons with an eternal, burning passion.

Winnie Chester

 * 1) (Personal): Likes to yell, "Attention!" when her date starts to ignore her at dinner.
 * 2) (Intimate): The only reason she joined the military was for the snappy uniform.
 * 3) (Dark): Lost her eyebrows in the line of duty. Now she has to paint them in every morning.

Sten Luger

 * 1) (Personal): His only vice is using too much butter on his toast, when he's feeling indulgent.
 * 2) (Intimate): Didn't qualify for Special Forces because his feet were too short.
 * 3) (Dark): When his unit goes on leave, he sneaks off to Pants-wetting Cowards Anonymous.

Clint Heckler

 * 1) (Personal): Received his first boy scout badge for building a fully-defended ant fortress.
 * 2) (Intimate): Follows a strict creed of honor, duty, respect, greed and nepotism.
 * 3) (Dark): His unit once chased down a kidnapped alien while armed only with walkie-talkies.

The Dudes in Black

 * 1) (Personal): Like women the way they like their socks... thick, clean, and slightly fuzzy.
 * 2) (Intimate): They all dream of someday buying a white suit and living in the tropics.
 * 3) (Dark): They wear underpants made entirely of lead to protect him from radiation.
 * 4) (Mission): You now know the passcode into the Secret Sublevel: 24601.

Secrets of the Aliens

 * Aliens don't have huge black eyes. They just wear ultra-cool alien sunglasses.
 * Aliens don't abduct humans for study... they just need somewhere to keep their unused probes.
 * Curiously enough, most aliens are not flammable, though they are terribly allergic to bees.
 * Flying saucers are the alien equivalent of jetskis. Responsible aliens drive minivans.

Secrets of the Occult

 * Most experts agree that sticking pins in a doll's rear is more effective than in the eye.
 * Bats are useful for cold remedies and curses, but mostly, they're just darn scary.
 * Voodoo dolls can be recycled into clothing, stuffing, or chew toys for dogs.
 * Modern zombies are employed as game developers because they can work around the clock.

Secrets of the Undead

 * Mummies aren't as bad as people make them out to be... they've just got a bad wrap.
 * Zombies don't literally want "brains"... they just want a decent education.
 * Wild yeti are actually glaciovores, and only pose a threat to aggressive snowmen.
 * The living dead prefer to use the more inclusive term "respiratorally challenged".

Secrets about Monsters

 * The original "Bogeyman" had a condition that made him secrete snot from his sweat glands.
 * Vampirism isn't nearly as virulent as people think. Most people shake it off like a bad cold.
 * The legend of the Minotaur is false... he actually had the head of a giant gerbil.
 * Dragons once roamed all over the world, but were hunted to extinction by sheep ranchers.

Secrets of the Government

 * The Roswell crash was actually a weather balloon... an ALIEN weather balloon!
 * There is nothing better for your cranial hygiene than a good government brain-washing.
 * The ultimate democracy would allow all people to vote on all issues and ruin them equally.
 * A typical Sim City is presided over by an elected mayor, a board of advisors, and a giant robot.

Secrets of Engineering

 * Scientists at Division 47 have developed a new energy-efficient fuel based on hair.
 * New military-grade "stealth toothbrushes" allow oral hygiene without waking the whole family.
 * Aliens built every architectural wonder on earth, culminating in the perfection of Burlington, Vermont.
 * Moore and Murphy predict that every year, computers will double their capacity to go wrong.

Secrets of Biology

 * Biologists have synthesized a flower that adheres perfectly to principles of Feng Shui.
 * Apparently, money DOES grow on trees, but the trees all waste it on junk food and hats.
 * If a tree falls alone in the forest, it actually makes the sound of a duck quacking.
 * Scientists can finally communicate with dolphins... but it turns out dolphins are jerks.

Secrets of Romance

 * The shortest route to a man's heart is through the Vena Cava.
 * If the woman you love is always nearby, but never seems to notice you... stop stalking her.
 * The key to instant romantic success? Lower your standards.
 * The fires of passion are readily extinguished by the asbestos blanket of responsibility.

Secrets of Intimidation

 * Water torture is generally ineffective, since water doesn't really have anything to hide.
 * "Good Cop, Bad Cop" isn't nearly as effective as "Good Cop, Undead Cop". They never see it coming!
 * If the subject does not yield to the comfy chair, you should advance to the soft pillows.
 * Sometimes you can learn more through love than through cruelty. Just kidding!

Secrets of Hazel Dente's fiances

 * In the Garden... There is a pacemaker buried in Hazel's garden!
 * In the Bathroom... There is a scratched-up wedding ring lodged in Hazel's drain!
 * In the Kitchen... There is a note in Hazel's fridge: "Help, my wife is starving me to DEATH!"
 * In the Pool... There is a shredded swimsuit in Hazel's pool filter.

Secrets about Virginya Feng

 * The Headstone: Virginya visits a headstone with HER name on it! From the 19th century!
 * The Photograph: You find a picture of 19th-century Virginya. She looks exactly like modern Virginya.
 * The Black Market: You find out that Gimi Branko has been selling packets of plasma to Virginya Feng.
 * The Infection: You are infected with vampirism. You can suck the happiness from living humans.

Roland's Pamphlet says...

 * Always stay with the herd. The stray cow falls into the thicket.
 * Always keep your eyes on the cow in front of you. Attention yields obedience.
 * Always look to the future. The path behind you is strewn with manure.
 * Always be wary... the enemy tips the cow who sleeps.

The Bovinomicon states that...

 * The great cow Beelzebeef slumbers beneath the surface of the earth.
 * When Beelzebeef rises again, she will awaken the Elder Herd.
 * The Elder Herd will trample all those who stray from the teachings of the Kine.
 * Once the earth is cleansed, there will be a new era of peace and delicious grass.