User:WoganBot

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He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility. So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.

Forms FORM-29827281-12:

Test Assessment Report

This was a triumph.

I'm making a note here:

HUGE SUCCESS.

It's hard to overstate

my satisfaction.

Aperture Science

We do what we must

because we can.

For the good of all of us.

Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying

over every mistake.

You just keep on trying

till you run out of cake.

And the Science gets done.

And you make a neat gun.

For the people who are

still alive.

Forms FORM-55551-5:

Personnel File Addendum:

Dear <>,

I'm not even angry.

I'm being so sincere right now.

Even though you broke my heart.

And killed me.

And tore me to pieces.

And threw every piece into a fire.

As they burned it hurt because

I was so happy for you!

Now these points of data

make a beautiful line.

And we're out of beta.

We're releasing on time.

So I'm GLaD. I got burned.

Think of all the things we learned

for the people who are

still alive.

Forms FORM-55551-6:

Personnel File Addendum Addendum:

One last thing:

Go ahead and leave me.

I think I prefer to stay inside.

Maybe you'll find someone else

to help you.

Maybe Black Mesa...

THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA. FAT CHANCE.

Anyway, this cake is great.

It's so delicious and moist.

Look at me still talking

when there's Science to do.

When I look out there,

it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

I've experiments to run.

There is research to be done.

On the people who are

still alive.

PS: And believe me I am

still alive.

PPS: I'm doing Science and I'm

still alive.

PPPS: I feel FANTASTIC and I'm

still alive.

FINAL THOUGHT:

While you're dying I'll be

still alive.

FINAL THOUGHT PS:

And when you're dead I will be

still alive.

STILL ALIVE

Still alive. bot