Fanon:Rocky Road

'''This is supposed to be... somewhat comedic, I guess? Like when Rain says 'frick'? Well, as much a comedy as it can be with it containing a depressed and unhinged neglectful father. I have no idea, I'm just back to typing this until I come up with more ideas for an original creation.'''

A child named Chaz Rocky was having a bedtime story read to him by his mother, Camilla. "And so, the silly young Charlie was sadly no mooooooore, after bashing his head on the top of a door!" Camilla sang to Chaz, to the tune of an old nordic song. This was Chaz's favorite song. It would make him laugh him self to sleep, oooooor he'd sing it to his teddy bears: Saint Mitch, Moe P. Cuddlebones, and Bruno d'Infanto. Fortunately, this was not one of those nights. As Camilla got into bed, her husband, Dan, said "Why do you even sing that to him? You should say Charles, not Charlie! And he didn't die immediately, he went into a nine hour coma a whole tennis match afterwards, then died!" "Oh, look who's SOOOO smart!" "Hmph." Camilla's phone beeped. "Oh, I gotta go put out a fire." "Whatever..." Dan mumbled.

The next day went as usual. Dan went to work at his job as a businessman, Camilla stayed home with Chaz. However, as Chaz was sung his favorite song as he went to bed, he never expected it would be the last time he would see his mother alive. After singing to Chaz, Camilla went to work on the Woo Woo 4000. As she adjusted things, she lifted up a part on the side. She swore she saw something in there, so she leaned her head in. Just as she had her whole head inside, the hatch slammed shut, decapitating her before she could even scream! After about an hour, Dan got up from the couch where he was watching television. "She's taking forever... What's wrong..?" He thought. as he neared the sliding door, he could see the horrible accident. He screamed, which woke up Chaz. Chaz opened his door, and saw his father hyperventilating as he called emergency services.

Years passed. During this time, Chaz aged up into a child, being neglected by his father, who was now depressed on top of being a jerk. His only friend was the rebellious Byron Rannt. Dan usually kicked Chaz out of the house to find the odd beetle to make money, and Byron would play with him. They'd dig through trash, pick up strange rocks, and fish or capture bugs. Sometimes Byron would even steal a stereo for Chaz from the community garden near Chaz's house. Dan would usually confiscate any valuables though, and sell them to buy a better TV or computer. One day Byron was grounded, and Chaz had to play by himself. He started thinking about his mother and became sad. He sighed as he sat down on a picnic table, watching the best local busking guitarist (in his opinion).

"NooBoo, Wa-Ba-De-Ba-Doo! Gr! Ca-ba Wu-i Nee-Ba-Zow! Wanobi-Wa Binkt... Minnai, Ib-ni-Bib-so-Toy! Ne Dwams, Ne Plums, Caba Sha-Bow, Un-Jande-Bo!" Those were the words Chaz could hear. He looked up, and realized it was the busking man. He also realized he had passed out on the table, and it was now evening. "Ugh, frick off, dad!" a girl said as she walked past. "You're too young to understand the good in life, aren't you?" "I thought after mother fell ill you would understand my view, but still no? Frick!" The girl screamed as she walked away. "Teenagers..." the busker said as he turned around. "Oh. Sorry you had to see that kid." "Nah, it's fine." "Yeah... That girl... I don't know what I did wrong... Was it my wife? Her sisters? I doubt it was any of us. Now my wife is dying, and I've had to start using her hobby to pay for everything. You think it's any good?" "Uh, I don't know..." "Haha... My name's James. James Leary." "Chaz Rocky." "What's wrong, kid?" "Thinking about my dead mom... You ever think about life without your wife?" "Well, yes, but at least I've got my children to keep me company. Or two of them, at least. The other one was that teen yelling at me, and she isn't living with me. She's probably the only person my wife has ever hated, and you can probably tell we're hippies! My family is just an example of how things are, though... Minus normal people of course. Two vegetarian hippies, and then a nerd, a jock, and a rebel. Death is just part of life as well... I just hope I raised my other children right, and that little Rain will learn..." Chaz never thought of it that way. Well, he couldn't comprehend it, because he was undereducated. So, unknowingly, James taught Chaz a cliche life lesson.

A few days later, Chaz and Byron were playing tag when Byron found a cool looking rock. "What's up?" Chaz asked. Byron tossed it to Chaz. It slammed into his face, which slammed onto the road, and Byron thought "My mom is gonna kill me!" Chaz stood up and Byron gasped: "Oh... My... Beelzebeef..." Byron dashed home as Chaz silently reached in front of him. "What the heck..?" He couldn't see a thing. "Byron?.. Huh." He walked to his front door (pretty well for an unassisted blind kid) and walked inside. "Uh, dad? I can't see anything..." "Oh... uh-oh." Chaz actually thought his dad was worried about him. "You little piece of... Argh! Do you KNOW how much this will cost? Oh you little! You are SO in trouble!" "Eh?" Chaz thought. He touched his face, and not only felt blood, LOTS AND LOTS of blood, but suddenly pain. LOTS AND LOTS of pain. Like, 64x64 lots. He fainted.

Chaz woke up, still on the ground. He could faintly see the ceiling, but that's it. He couldn't even turn his head. Chaz was still in a huge puddle of blood, with blood dried onto his face as well. "Dad?" No answer. He thought back to James. "This is it. I'm a goner." He sobbed a bit as he thought about James and his wife that he never met, and Byron being arrested. Suddenly, the front door slammed open. "Hey you piece of crap, what's that kid's last name?" "Byron Rannt? Why?" "I'm suing his parents." "He only has a mom... Wait, WHAT? Suing? N-No! His mom's gonna kill him!" "Good. Now get up and go send them to the courtroom." "Uh..." Chaz managed to finally move his arms. "GET UP!" Dan yelled as he yanked Chaz up. "Gah! Owwwww!" Dan shoved Chaz out the door, and he slowly crawled away. "Oh, stop crawling around like an idiot!" It took him a while, but Chaz finally crawled to Byron's home. Across the street, one of Chaz's other friends, Logan Ryan, called out to him. "Hey, Chaz, what the hell happened?" "Byron..." "Dude. Look at the grass behind you." "Looks a bit red to me..." Logan's father Leonard walked out. "Hey, Logan, are you finished all your homew- AIYEE! IT'S A ZOMBIE!!!" "Wow..." Chaz passed out again.

This time, when Chaz woke up, he could smell hand sanitizer. He looked around the room, and noticed a beeping noise before faintly seeing James Leary sitting in a chair behind a curtain. He also heard Byron's mother, Alice, standing outside the door, talking. "J-James? Is that you?" Chaz asked. James then noticed Chaz, and the doctor opened the curtains. "My plumbob, boy! What happened to you?" "You... Know him, father?" The doctor asked. "Oh, yes! He's the boy that passed out on the picnic table and saw Rain!" "Is that your wife..?" "Yup, I'm Kara." the woman in the bed said. "Yeah, uhh, my friend Byron pushed me onto the road. By accident. While we were playing..." The doctor perked up. "Byron? Byron... Rannt?" "Um, yes..?" "I've heard about him!!" Kara yelled. I understand why he hates his mother, unlike a CERTAIN someone..." "Haha, yup!" James agreed. "Alright Kara, you need to take your medicine now," Alice told Kara as she walked in. "Oh, you're awake..." "Y-You need to hide! My dad's gonna sue you!" "Listen, kid, you keep my demonic son outta my house a lot, so I'll tell you what: I'll get you back to good health for free, as long as you'll still be Byron's friend. Deal?" "Really? Yes!" Chaz yelled in excitement. "Hey, calm down, kid. Try to take it easy." You don't wanna break even more bones, now!" Sunshine (the other doctor) said. "Really, HOW did you injure yourself that badly?" James asked. "Byron is pretty strong. I believe he threw the rock at over 100 kmph. He has been tearing profusely, I believe he has fractured his nasion..." Sunshine noted. Chaz dosed off. Again. "Wow, you're getting good at this!" Alice whispered to Sunshine.

Chaz woke up yet again, and looked around. He was in a horse-drawn cart. "Wait, wha..?" "Hey, you. You're finally awake," a voice called. "You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush. Same as us. And that thief over there." Chaz was about to say 'uhh...', but he was interrupted by a man diagonal to him "Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn't been looking for you, I could've stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell." Um...", Chaz finally muttered. The aspiring horse thief looked at Chaz. "You and me, we shouldn't be here. It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants." "Shut up back there!" a guard said. "And what's wrong with hi-" "Wait a second," Chaz said. "What's stopping us from just... hopping off of this cart?" "hmm hmmrd", a man with his mouth covered by cloth tried to say. "Huh?" "Todd Howard," the blond man who first spoke to him interrupted. "Who's Todd Ho-" Chaz tried to say before the aspiring horse thief spoke up again. "Wait, wait, wait. Wouldn't it really be someone like Guy Carver, or Brett Douville, or-" "ENOUGH!" the blond man shouted. "I'll not stand idly by while a dragon burns my hold and slaughters my people!" "Got your lines mixed up, Mikey?" the aspiring horse thief asked. "Irileth, send a detachment to Riverwood at once." "General Tullius, sir! The headsman is waiting!" "Good. Let's get this over with." "Shor, Mara, Dibella, Aka-" "You guys can't be serious. I'm jumping off this thing. "Fool," the mouth-covered-man mumbled. Chaz jumped off the cart and suddenly appeared in front of what looked to be a wheel. In otherwise complete darkness. "So... are you gonna jump?" the blond man asked. Chaz couldn't see him, but it sounded as though he was still on the cart. The speech and it's accompanied thoughts only lasted an attosecond, because Chaz disappeared from existence altogether. The men on the cart instantly forgot about him. And thus, it was over.