User:Pidgeoraptor7

'''~ Sometimes you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. ~' - Bob Dylan'' '''~ Art is not what I create. What I create is chaos. ~' - Halsey'' '''~ Confidence is not "they will like me". Confidence is "I'll be fine if they don't". ~' - Christina Grimmie'' '''~ Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. ~' - Marilyn Monroe''

Hey There!
Wow. What a difference four years can make.

I honestly would never have come back to this wiki, a place that had so long ago given me so much, if I hadn't received an email saying my talk page had been updated. I don't, quite frankly, know what spurred me to see what I was like four years ago - four years later, four years older, four years wiser. But the point is not that I did; the point is that I'm here now. And since I am, I think perhaps a life update is in order.

I don't play The Sims anymore. It's not because I don't want to, so much as a lack of resources: my main desktop was not built for gaming, and my laptop literally melted as a result of overuse. And as a result I've long deleted my save files, yet to invest in a gaming computer that can actually handle my arguably compulsive playing. Consequentially, the dream that I once had to be an architect has faded; I no longer have the means by which to build houses, something which was without a doubt my favorite feature of the Sims series. But a part of me still holds the games very close to my heart, and is holding out hope that - come college - I'll be able to start playing again.

As The Sims gradually disappeared from my life, so too did The Sims Wiki, words I'm sure fourteen-year-old me would never have imagined uttering. Editing this page, a task that should be fairly easy in theory, is one I find myself at a complete loss for in practice, because I've completely forgotten how to use the wiki editing tools I was once so proficient at. It's crazy to see how much has changed, and simultaneously how much is so familiar. And to think that I wasn't a part of it quite honestly makes me a little nostalgic.

Reading through my profile again, four years after the fact, I can't help but notice how immature I was. Not that immaturity is a bad thing - I think the day I've finally admitted I've grown up is the day I lose a piece of myself that, at the moment, I'm not ready to. Just that it's in stark contrast to the person that I am today.

That person, the person writing this now, still loves to write, although arguably he is much better at it now than he had been before. Four years of analytical papers (many of which written the night before the due date) have engineered him to think more intellectually, more creatively, and have augmented his skill as a writer incomparably. His love for music similarly has not faded, but grown; he writes much of his own music now, is excited for college when he will have the opportunity to join a capella groups on campus and perform in school productions. He is a little bit sadder, a little bit more tired, not nearly as happy-go-lucky as he used to be, more brooding, more introspective, more critical of himself and less confident in his abilities. He has lost both his grandmother and his father, not to mention a number of friends, people he thought would be in his life forever. And yet at the same time he has become much more comfortable in his individuality; he has embraced his flaws and his shortcomings and used them to his advantage, and while he second-guesses himself in his weaknesses he is all too comfortable in his strengths. He has become somewhat less religious, but infinitely more spiritual, more pensive, more reflective, and ultimately more grateful for and appreciative of all that he has. He has exchanged his ability to play sports for a taste for fashion and pop culture and a love for mathematics and chemistry. He has gotten taller, he has grown out his beard. But his most glaring difference is that he is still heartbroken; but now, for entirely different reasons. He hasn't gotten back together with the girlfriend that a much younger version of himself was so head-over-heels in love with; in fact, now, the thought of doing so is one of the last on his mind. Instead, he has recognized in retrospect that losing her was a blessing in disguise. It allowed him, forced him even, to acknowledge a piece of himself that he had been hiding from for as long as he could remember, something which he was far too eager to ignore but no longer could. That boy has since been with two boys, had feelings for many others along the way. That boy now knows what it really feels like to have one's heart broken. But that boy has developed a newfound advocacy, a newfound sense of self, that the old one could never have possessed. He is sometimes insecure but overall he is sure of his own strength. He's learned what it means to love and to be love, but most importantly how to love oneself. He is no longer trapped in the closet he had once forced himself into. He is free. I am free.

I've learned a lot along the way. I'm different in a lot of ways from who I was four years ago, but when it boils down to it, I'm still the same Pidge. I always will be. And if you'd like to know him a little better, you always know where to find me. And if you did, thanks for reading.

All the best, and with nothing but love,

-

My To-Do List

 * Write a farewell chapter of The Good Ones. I think it's well deserved and, at this point, a long time coming.

Projects Past and Present

 * Villianne family
 * VanPyre family
 * The Good Ones
 * Roomies 2.0
 * Darling
 * Alto family

My Favorite Fanon(s?)

 * Reaper Family: I mean, anyone descended from the Grim Reaper is bound to be awesome!


 * Nisha Slayer: Possibly one of my favorites of all time. Nisha is awesome, as she resists her natural urge for plasma, being a vampire and all!


 * Of The Night: Freedom50000 is a great writer, and I love this story because it depicts the life of a vampire who hates the whole idea of being one. If I were a vampire, Nisha would be my idol!


 * Curious family: OMG. Awsum. Need I say more?

Traits
An updated description of my traits, because, why not? Traits with a strikethrough are ones I consider myself to have lost, to some extent at least.

Good : Don't get me wrong, I'm still a good person. But I've made so many mistakes that to call myself "good", I think, would be a misnomer.

Genius: According to my last IQ Test, at least. I beg to differ, because I've definitely done some pretty stupid things.

Virtuoso: I love nothing more than sitting down with my guitar or at a piano and writing out a new song. I suffer from writer's block a little too frequently for my liking, but my innate love for music will always be there.

Artistic : I'm still by-and-large artistic; I had a good eye when it comes to colors and fashion and can still draw fairly well when needed to, but I just don't have the time to keep up with it anymore.

Bookworm: Again, time is an obstacle. But reading will always hold a soft spot in my heart.

Perceptive: I've always been good at picking up on little things. That hasn't changed with age, fortunately for me.

Ambitious : Do I know what I want? Sure. Am I gonna do whatever it takes to get it? I'll let you answer that.

Friendly: Something else I get from my Grandma. I try to be mean only when necessary, but if someone pisses me off, I'm not the first to shrug it off: usually I have a snide response! >:{D

Charismatic: I know my way around a conversation when the need arises. Not to talk myself up too much, of course.

Hopeless Romantic: I've only had three relationships, but I've always been the kind of person to depend on my partner when I'm in one. And I live for the little things, the stuff that gives you butterflies. I'm a textbook hopeless romantic.

Loner: I often spend hours at a time in my room doing whatever. Hanging out with people isn't always my first choice: I'd much rather stay home than go out for dinner, or stay home and read as opposed to going out to a social event.

Animal Lover : I love animals, but I'm simply not too responsible to realistically care for one.

Computer Whiz : Love 'em. Can't use 'em.

Loves the Cold: I'd much rather be cool than warm, I'd rather be cold than hot, and I'd rather freeze to death than burn to death. That, and also, the cold gives you plenty of opportunity to dress up.

Equestrian : I've literally not been on a horse in five years. I don't think that exactly qualifies me to consider myself an equestrian anymore.

Shy : I still suck at forming complete sentences sometimes, but throw me into a social situation and for the most part, I'll manage. I'm better around people I know.

Over-Emotional: I have a lot of emotions, but I'm really good at hiding them. Only those closest to me know how much of a mess I am.

Unflirty : I literally flirt with every living creature. It's a problem at this point.

Childish: I like Pokemon. I'm still afraid of the dark. I just don't wanna grow up.

Dramatic: Pretty much speaks for itself. I love drama in all of its forms, whether it's starting it, watching it, or being in it, on stage or off.

Brooding: I often think about the meaning of meaning and what living is all about. I'm very philosophical about these kinds of things, if you will. But I also spend a lot of time laying down in bed, listening to really sad music, not talking to anyone and only getting up to feed myself or use the bathroom. I overthink a lot, especially when it comes to my feelings, because there's a lot of them.

Worrywart: Worrying has become a habit of mine, arguably even a pasttime. Hakuna matata don't come easy.

Couch Potato: My bed is my sanctuary.

Clumsy: Yeah. Still pretty clumsy. I hurt myself a lot because I'm always unintentionally stubbing my toe or breaking a nail.

Stubborn: Want me to get up? Try harder. I'm never leaving my bed.

Night Owl: Chances are you'll find me up at 3 A.M. The point is not what I'm doing, but rather, that I'm doing anything at all.

Pyromaniac: I've always been, and likely always will be, fascinated by fire. Scared, sure, but fascinated.

Random(?) Links

 * 1) Sandbox

Trivia

 * I still have a dog and a cat. But I've added a bird to the collection, and lost the guinea pig.
 * I'm still a Taurus (surprise surprise!) and I still live in New York. Come August, however, I'm going to be in Pennsylvania for college.
 * Je peux parler un peu de français... mais, bien que j'ai pris quatres années du langue, je suis loin d'être fluent.
 * Believe it or not, I still have a (somewhat) obsessive interest in unicorns.
 * I've had some of my writing published, and some of my music put on YouTube. Good luck trying to find it!

'''~ Let your smile change the world. Just don't let the world change your smile. ~'''