Fanon:Episode 1: Pilot

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Pilot

Name: Pilot
Genre: Adventure, Drama, Romantic
Created by: Kit0804

Production
Original run: 2nd July 2016
Status: Finished

Chronology
Succeeded by: Money in the Bank

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Episode 1

A dark pickup truck drives down a long road. A dark red suitcase and a bright red suitcase are attatched to the roof along with many other items. The car suddenly stops, and smoke emerges from the bonnet. A large woman exits from the left.

Diane Lark

This is typical! We leave your parents for 10 minutes, and look what happens. 

Shiva Bhatt

It's a sign that we shouldn't have left. We should turn back now...

Diane Lark

Hold it. No chance hun. Nu-uh. No. We left for a reason, now, we should be able to fix this. 

Shiva Bhatt

Well I don't know about you but I don't have much experience in doing any of this.

Diane Lark

And I do? Are you serious? I maybe fat but that doesn't mean I've got experience in this sort of thing!

Shiva Bhatt

Fine, we'll call a mechanic to pick us up...I just hope you've got deep pockets.

Diane Lark

Ugh. (Diane notices something in the distance) Is that...? Is that music?

Shiva Bhatt

It's just your imagination Di, it's the heat. Sit down for a bit. There's some water in the car.

Diane Lark

Yeah, I guess you're right.

The camera pans outwards, we see Shiva heading over to the bonnett to pop the hood and Diane laying down on the grass.

Flashback, circa 1998

An 18 year old Diane Lark unpacks her things from her mother's car. 

Darla Lark

Well...I guess that's it!

Manny Lark

Yep...well kiddo, hope you enjoy university!

Diane Lark

Aha, very funny guys. You're coming in!

Darla Lark

You know we can't! We're going to miss the big ceremony. This is a very big night for your father!

Diane Lark

I know...I just wish I didn't have to go so far! 

Manny Lark

Don't you fret for one minute! We're always a phone call away! Promise me you'll be safe?

Diane Lark

I promise, daddy.

Darla Lark

Oh...Manny, I guess we could stay for a half-hour or something!

Manny Lark

(checks watch) Hey, yeah we could! We made pretty good time up here! Let's go check this room out!

Diane Lark

Yay! Okay, I'll go find the kitchen and my new roomies!

Darla Lark

I do believe we've got one!

A big blue car turns up, an 18 year old Shiva Bhatt gets out the car with tears streaming down her face. Diane takes immediate interest in her.

Diane Lark

I...uh...guys! You should go home now! I just remembered, that ceremony you wanted to go to, it starts in like two hours! I forgot to tell you! I'm so sorry! Okay bye now bye!

Diane pushes Manny and Darla into the car, confused, they drive away after hugging.

Diane makes her way over to Shiva.

Ayisha Bhatt

Okay, Shiva. You've got one shot at this. Don't screw it up! You've remembered how to make my special curry? And we're only a couple of miles away if you need us. Don't live off noodles for the entirity! 

Rajesh Bhatt

Ayisha! Calm down! We have a beautfiul, intelligent daughter here! She'll do brilliantly!

Shiva Bhatt

Yeah, Mamiji, you need to calm down. I'll do fine. 

Ayisha Bhatt

My little girl...she's all grown up...

Rajesh Bhatt

Come, Ayisha. Let's leave our little spice. Goodbye, Shivvy.

Present day Scene change to the broken down car, Diane is still asleep, and Shiva is covered in oil.

Shiva Bhatt

If mamiji taught me anything, is that you should never nominate yourself for a job you don't want to do for the benefit of others. Right, Diane?

Diane is still asleep with a manual on her face

Shiva Bhatt

Diane! Are you kidding me! (Shiva searches through the engine to find the horn, she presses it, causing Diane to wake up)

Diane Lark

(Startled) Douse any flames with a wet cloth!

Shiva Bhatt

Honestly, Di...

Diane Lark

I'm sorry! I'm not good at this sort of stuff...I'm good at being sneaky, y'know. Cooking and stuff.

Shiva Bhatt

I'll cook you if you don't get up! C'mon! Help me, alright?

Diane Lark

Alright! Alright! What do I do?

Shiva Bhatt

I think something flew in and clogged up the pipes...causing it to overheat...

Diane Lark

Oh I see! (Diane sticks her arm into the engine, she pulls it out, covered in a horrible substance) Try now!

(Diane goes to the cab and turns the key, the engine starts immeidatley, the two cheer, and drive on)

Flashback, December 31, 1999 Diane and Shiva are at a millenium party, the atmosphere is bad and everyone feels awkward.

Shiva notices Diane is sobbing

Shiva Bhatt

Hey, buttercup. What's making you so sad?

Diane Lark

Did...did you hear about the storm?

Shiva Bhatt

I did, it sounds horrible.

Diane Lark

(Diane holds her mobile phone in her hand) That was my Aunt Jan...the storm hit my town really hard...my parents were driving around, looking for injured animals, a great gust of wind swept their car off the road into a river...they drowned. (Diane breaks down into tears)

Shiva Bhatt

Diane...I'm...I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.

Guest

Quick everyone! The countdown's beginning!

Shiva Bhatt

Look, why don't you make your new year's resolution to find love? That way you can get over Manny and Darla's death with someone you cherish.

Diane Lark

Shiva...that sounds like a great idea!

Guest

Happy new year!

(Diane and Shiva stare at eachother as everyone around them cheers, they kiss, and smile at eachother)

Present day scene change to Diane and Shiva's new cabin on a cliff.

Diane Lark

I think we're gonna enjoy it here! 

Shiva Bhatt

Let's not speak too soon, we didn't even bother to check the neighbourhood before we moved here...

Diane Lark

And? I'm sure with my jokes and your...personality we can make this neighbourhood even better!

Shiva Bhatt

Sure! First, we need a source of income! I'll go on the search for a job, you check out the neighbourhood, I just need to wait for my mother to come down with the rest of our house and my car.

Diane Lark

Right, I'll start unpacking.

Shiva Bhatt

How is it that we break down and we still beat her! She's the slowest driver I've ever met!

Diane Lark

My mother could run faster than her driving, and she's dead!

(Diane and Shiva laugh)

Diane Lark

But seriously, we need to make sure our neighbours aren't completely crazy.

Diane and Shiva walk out of the house over to a small 1960's style house, where an elderly woman is gardening outside.

Diane Lark

(Slightly unnerved) Hello?

Mollie Fineworth

Oh! Hello there! (Mollie brushes off her hands which are slighty covered with soil, she outstretches a hand to Diane and Shiva) You must be my new neighbours! 

(Shiva smiles at Diane and shakes Mollie's hand)

Shiva Bhatt

It's nice to meet you! I'm Shiva, Shiva Bhatt. And this is my girlfriend, Diane.

Mollie Fineworth

Girlfriend? Well aren't you the lucky one (chuckles) Mollie, Mollie Fineworth. 

Diane Lark

Mollie! It's lovely to meet you. Tell us, what do you know about the neighbourhood?

(Mollie goes to say something, but throws away the thought)

Mollie Fineworth

Beautiful! Absolutley stunning! Lived here for around 50 years...as far as I can tell, there's been no crime rates, the schools are all lovely! It's beautiful!

Flashback, circa 2003 Diane and Shiva have both finished university, with nowhere to live, Diane has moved into the Bhatt home.

Diane Lark

Thank you again, Mrs. Bhatt, this is so kind of you after...well, you know.

Ayisha Bhatt

Please, I am not Mrs. Bhatt! You can call me mamiji! This is your home now! What happened was terrible, and I am happy to provide for you until you and Shiva move away!

Rajesh Bhatt

Make sure you note she said that and not me!

Shiva Bhatt

Dad!

Rajesh Bhatt

I'm kidding, Diane! You're welcome here as much as Shiva is!

Ayisha Bhatt

So, can I get you something to drink?

Diane and Shiva

(simultaniously) Black coffee.

Ayisha Bhatt

Well, there's only enough coffee powder for one cup so, one of you will have to deal without it.

Diane Lark

Shiva, it's your house, you have it!

Shiva Bhatt

No no no! I couldn't, you're my girlfriend. It's yours.

Diane Lark

I insist!

Shiva Bhatt

So do I!

Rajesh Bhatt

How about no one gets it and I throw it away?

Diane Lark

(Diane burts into laughter)

Shiva Bhatt

I can tell you're going to fit in here!

Diane Lark

Shiva, why don't we go unpack from uni?

Shiva Bhatt

Sure thing! (Shiva takes her mother's car keys)

Diane Lark

(Diane walks off to her car, and at the top of a box finds a picture of a toddler Diane with her mother and father, she wipes away a tear)

Shiva Bhatt

(Shiva goes to say something to Diane, but notices how upset Diane truly is, and hugs her)

Diane Lark

I didn't realise how hard this was going to be...I thought I got over it.

Shiva Bhatt

The pain's unimaginable, right?

Diane Lark

Worse than anything...

Shiva Bhatt

Did you go to their funeral?

Diane Lark

No...I thought it was going to be too much. I got a call from Aunt Jan, she said only a handful of people turned up...

Shiva Bhatt

At least people came! Why don't we hold something, a ceremony for them.

Diane Lark

Where? And what will it achieve, Shiva?

Shiva Bhatt

That way, you will be able to say goodbye to Manny and Darla officially. And you can kiss your pain goodbye.

Diane Lark

Okay...let's do it.

Shvia Bhatt

I love you, Diane.

Diane Lark

I love you too, Shiva. (the two embrace, the screen fades)

End

END OF EPISODE 1