Fanon:PlumbBobs & Prejudice

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Owners: Duskey (talk) · Bleeh (talk) · BobNewbie (talk) · LostInRiverview (talk) · Woganhemlock (talk)

· Random Ranaun (talk)
PlumbBobs & Prejudice (P&P)
Name PlumbBobs & Prejudice (P&P)
Genre Drama
Created by Duskey
Number of Chapters 15

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PlumbBobs & Prejudice is an ongoing Sit-Opera, thought out during many quiet evenings in #wikia-sims on IRC. It tells the story of... some people and something probably happens, I dunno, let's see.

P&P was originally written by Duskey, but he has encouraged other members of The Sims Wiki's IRC channel to contribute chapters.

Contributor Chapters contributed
Duskey 2
LostInRiverview 5
BobNewbie 1
Bleeh 1
Woganhemlock 5
Random Ranaun 1

Characters[edit | edit source]

Major Characters[edit | edit source]

Lady Marie Harriet Clementina Blehna (known as Lady Bleeh) - The protagonist of the story. She is the daughter of Alice and Dharden, sister of Liron and Richard, and cousin of Asora. She is based on Bleeh.

Alice Morris - The matriarch of the family, she is the wife of Dharden, mother of Bleeh, Liron, and Richard, and aunt of Asora. She is based on A morris.

Dharden Morris (nicknamed Dhad) - The patriarch of the family, he is the husband of Alice, father of Bleeh, Liron, and Richard, and uncle of Asora. He is based on Dharden.

Duskey Morris - The brother of Alice and uncle of Bleeh, Liron, Richard, and Asora. He is the oddball of the family, mostly due to his odd fashion sense and behavior. He was supposedly killed at the hands of Archibald Andrews. He is based on Duskey.

Liron River - The mysterious son of Alice and Dharden, brother of Bleeh and Richard, and cousin of Asora. He dreads family gatherings, and only shows up to save his inheritance. He was apparently killed by Archibald Andrews while protecting Bleeh, but he remains alive and unharmed, indicating that his murder was either a dream or a psychic vision by Bleeh. He is based on LostInRiverview.

Archibald Andrews of Fanville - The main antagonist of the story. He is dedicated to marrying Bleeh, and is shown to be very evil. He is based on ArchieAndrewfan3001.

Asora Turner - The daughter of Morten and his wife, niece of Alice, Duskey, Dharden, and cousin of Bleeh, Liron, and Richard. She and Richard had no idea of their family, and operated as investigators for an unknown amount of time. She is based on Auror Andrachome.

Richard Ranaun - The son of Alice and Dharden, brother of Liron and Bleeh, and cousin of Asora. Richard and Asora had no idea of their family, and operated as investigators for an unknown amount of time. He is based on Random Ranaun.

Lord George of Gibbons - A mysterious man in the village of Irc. He is based on Lost Labyrinth.

Guilherme Guerreiro - The long lost daughter of Alice and Dharden. She is the sister of Bleeh, Richard and Liron, and the cousin of Asora. She is based on Guilherme Guerreiro.

Minor Characters[edit | edit source]

Archibald's henchmen - The henchmen of Archibald. They are very loyal and will do anything for Archibald, even though he hardly considers them to be of any value. They are based on A.P. Freeman and Salemguy123

Morten Morris - The brother of Alice and Duskey, father of Asora, and uncle of Richard, Bleeh, Liron, and Guilherme. Shortly after Richard's birth, Alice left him with Morten. He died in a car accident sometime before the series. He is based on Duskey.

Morten's wife - The mother of Asora, sister-in-law of Alice and Duskey, and aunt of Bleeh, Liron, Richard, and Guilherme. Sometime after Morten's death, she moved away from the town of Simswiki, and took Asora and Richard with her.

Steve - The butler of Wiki Manor. In his many years of serving the family, he learned to it keep his mouth shut and ears closed. He is based on Chanserv.

Alejandro - The chef of Wiki Manor. He is known for his incredibly delicious meals, which the family takes great pride in. He is based on RuneScript.

Linkita - The maid of Wiki Manor. She is very loyal to the family and always follows any type of order.

Alliance members - The members of the Alliance. They are devoted to preserving Simswiki and protecting from harm. They're current task is to protect the family of Wiki Manor from danger, particularly from Archibald.

Character Gallery[edit | edit source]

Chapters[edit | edit source]

Act One - Chapters 1-5
The Family is introduced. Bleeh becomes aware of suspicious events involving her family and her fiancé. Duskey helps Bleeh escape from Wiki Manor.
Act Two - Chapters 6-10
Bleeh is captured. Two investigators begin to track her down, and Archibald develops a dastardly plan to gain the family trust.
Act Three (current - see below)
The truth of Bleeh's experience is realized, and the Alliance is explained.

Chapter XI - Awake[edit | edit source]

Awake
Name: Awake
Series: PlumbBobs & Prejudice
Written by: LostInRiverview
Release date: May 17, 2011

Chronology
Previous chapter: Miss Guerreiro
Next chapter: Irc

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A rumble of thunder was heard in a dark room. There was no lightning, as there were no windows. Then, complete silence, except for the sound of light breathing. There was no light, save for a small trace coming in under a heavy door. The sound of approaching footsteps could be heard, and then the heavy metal door swung open and bathed the tiny room in light. A man and a woman walked in - their faces were covered in shadow as they moved towards Lady Bleeh, tied to a chair and in a deep sleep.

"Can she hear us?" The woman asked? "I don't think so. That tranquilizer hit her hard." The familiar voice of Bob spoke, though he hardly sounded crazy. "It has a psychological effect, too. God only knows what's going on in her head right now..."


Brother Liron was dead. A stunned look was frozen on his face, and a hole was shot in his chest. Archibald Andrews was subdued - he had been tackled, disarmed, and tied to one of the giant columns within the East Wing. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I WILL GET TAKE YOUR FORTUNE! YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Archibald yelled, though no one was listening except Lady Bleeh. While the others tended to Liron's body or else contacted the police, Bleeh walked towards Archibald with a glean of evil in her eyes.

"You horrible, retched man! YOU'VE DONE THIS!!!" As she yelled, she walked towards the mantle and picked up Liron's trusted rifle. "Go ahead and try, silly girl!" Archibald yelled aloud. "You don't have a damned idea how to fire that thing!" Bleeh took the rifle and slammed it hard into Archibald's stomach, causing him to keel over in pain and let out a momentary yell, half of pain and half of surprise.


"How much does she know?" the woman asked. "I am not sure, Tulle." Bob replied while continuing to watch Lady Bleeh sleep. "If Duskey were smart - and that's a big 'if' - then he would have told her everything... but I feel his secretive side may have gotten the better of him." "Do you suppose," Tulle paused, "do you suppose that Bleeh doesn't know about the true natu..." "DIE!" Bleeh yelled, though her eyes remained closed and her body remained still. Bob and Tulle, both startled, looked again at her. "Umm... we'd best take this conversation elsewhere." Bob said, "Who knows what she's capable of picking up." Tulle nodded silently, and both withdrew through the open door, closing it tightly shut behind them.


Bleeh stood over Archibald, as he sat against the column laughing loudly. "YOU THINK YOU CAN KILL ME!?" He said, blood pouring out of the wound in his head. "You have no idea... grab her!" At once, Steve the Butler came from behind her and grabbed her, binding her arms and legs tight. "My, my, my" Archibald said as the ropes around him fell limp - how he had untied himself, Bleeh could not tell. "Now, now we see where the power truly lies. "No...NO, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" Bleeh yelled. "IT CAN'T BE!" Archibald stood up, mortal wound and all, and grabbed Liron's rifle. "Now we get to have a little fun!" "WAKE UP!" Dharden yelled at Bleeh. "WAKE UP NOW!!!"


"WAKE UP BLEEH!" A man yelled loudly in the dark room. Bleeh awoke with a start and looked around, though could see nothing the darkness. "Bleeh," the familiar voice of Duskey calmed her, "we need to get you out of here." Duskey turned on the single light in the room, and Bleeh looked around in confusion. "My God, Duskey! What is going on?" "We've been captured. Those who hold us are going to turn us over to... Them. And once They get us, we have no hope. C'mon, we've got to escape now!" "But what about Liron? And Guilherme? and Richard and Asora? What about them? "How do you... How can you possibly know?" Duskey asked, completely stunned. "I never told you about that." "But...what's happening, Duskey?" "I... I don't know." He paused. "But I do know this: we've got to leave. Now" "Alright," Bleeh said quietly, as Duskey set to work untying her. "Can you stand?" Duskey asked once all the ropes had fallen to the floor. "I think I can..." Bleeh said as she shakily stood to her feet. "Oh, the floor is so cold on bare feet. How do we get out of here" "The door isn't locked, and I can take you out the way the Alliance came in. They'll all be waiting for us at the rendezvous point." "Where... where is that?" Bleeh said as Duskey quietly opened the heavy metal door of the holding room. "It's not far from Wiki, in a village called 'Irc'." The pair walked for a bit, and came upon a dark stairwell. "It's down these steps and out the door at the bottom. Come along." Duskey said, holding Bleeh's hand. For the first time in a long time, Bleeh felt just a tiny bit safe. "NO!" Archibald Andrews lunged out of the shadowy stairs and plunged a knife into Duskey's chest. "NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Bleeh screamed loudly as the blade went in and Duskey fell to the ground. Archibald laughed maniacally as he grabbed for Bleeh. "Now... NOW I CAN TAKE YOU AWAY!" Bleeh punched Archibald as hard as she could, knocking Archibald to the ground. "GUARDS! GUARDS! THE TROLL IS ESCAPING!" Archibald yelled, as the sound of running feet echoed down the chamber leading to the stairwell. "Bleeh... run!" Duskey said through strained breath. "But..." Bleeh began, "Go... Go now... Like I told you... Go to the safe house... please." Bleeh didn't need any more convincing, and had no more time, as Archibald was rising to his feet and pulling out a pistol. "I warned you, girl!" Archibald said as he cocked the gun, preparing to fire. Bleeh at once, tears in her eyes, darted down the stairs and out of the line of fire. As she ran down step after step, she dared not look behind her to see whether she was being chased. The only sound she heard, aside from her own feet frantically hitting each step, was the sound of a single gunshot from above, just before she opened the door at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh my!" Alfred yelled as Bleeh burst out of the door. He had been standing guard in the dark night. It was raining, and not another person was out in the city where Bleeh was being held. "Has he... is he coming?" Alfred asked. "No, and we have to go now!" Bleeh half yelled as she gasped for air, out of breath from having run as far as fast as she had "Right..." Alfred said as he began running along the side of the building, a nondescript concrete industrial warehouse. "Get in the car, and we'll go to the safe house. Hurry!" Before Bleeh had even managed to close the car door behind her, Alfred had turned on the car and sped down the dark, wet road. - LostInRiverview talk · blog 21:27, May 17, 2011 (UTC)

Chapter XII - Irc[edit | edit source]

Irc
Name: Irc
Series: PlumbBobs & Prejudice
Written by: Woganhemlock
Release date: May 18, 2011

Chronology
Previous chapter: Awake
Next chapter: The Truth

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Alfred drove the car far, far away from the conflict, to the small town of Irc, to the rendezvous point. They were told by Duskey to search for a small cottage along a terrace of houses, the fifth on the fourth. They soon arrived at their destination, 5 4th Street, their safe house. They were told there would be members of the alliance there, but Bleeh could see no signs of anyone. Then, out of the darkness, shots rang. Bleeh and Alfred ran towards the house, and nearly knocked the door in.

"LET US IN!" screamed Bleeh. "SOMEONE'S TRYING TO KILL US!'

"Now, now, what's all this commotion?" a voice answered in the darkness. Bleeh looked into the darkness and saw a handsome stranger. He looked like he was thirty-something years old.

"Who are you? Are you going to kill us?" Bleeh exclaimed to the man.

"Kill you? No, no, no. Of course not. I'm here to help you." The man proceeded on with his story. "But I should introduce myself, should I not? My name is Lord George the 5th of Gibbons. I presume you are Lady Bleeh?" His voice trailed off.

"Where are the others? Are they safe? Are they here?" Bleeh exclaimed, half knocking George off his feet.

"Yes, they are fine. They are waiting for you upstairs. But, first... NO!" Georgie exclaimed, for Bleeh was escaping up the stairwell. "Bleeh. Wait. I can explain everything..."


George took Bleeh into the small dining room. Bleeh didn't really care, at this point. She just wanted to see her family.

"Now. I shall explain everything. Those men who were shooting you out in the street? Those are 'friends' of Archibald, although I highly doubt he sees them as such. They stick with him, do his bidding. At the moment, Archibald wants you to marry him. I know it is peculiar, mostly because of the incident a few weeks ago. Nevertheless, our friend Archibald wants to marry you at any cost. We think he is slightly... damaged. Anyways, he has hired these henchmen to track you down. Watch you. Stalk you."

At this comment, Bleeh shuddered.

"I know, I know. We believe that Archibald has developed a powerful obsession over you. Why, we don't know..." George stopped speaking, and there was silence. Minutes passed in silence. To Bleeh, it seemed like an eternity. All she wanted was proof that Alice, Dharden, Richard, Asora and all the others were okay. "Now, my lady, if you would go up the stairs...". George was interrupted, as Bleeh had stormed up the stairs as fast as she could. She could hear voices from one of the rooms, and she opened the door...


Relief. Happiness, and joy swept over Bleeh. All of the family was there. But where were Duskey and Liron?

"Blehna!" cried Alice. She looked like she was going to burst with happiness upon seeing her daughter safe. "It's so good to see you..." Alice then burst into tears.

"Mother, what's happened?" Bleeh asked her mother. It was unusual to see her this upset.

"It's... it's Liron. He's... he's d...d..."

"He's what, mother?"

"HE'S DEAD!" And upon saying this, Alice started crying uncontrollably. Behind her, Dharden nodded in acknowledgement.

"But, where is Duskey?" Bleeh asked Dharden.

"Duskey is still at the warehouse. He is going to try to mislead Archibald, get him far, far away from us."

"But, what is happening? I remember... when I was unconscious... I heard voices. One I know. Bob the Zombosis. The other was a stranger. She said she was Tulle... What is going on? Who are these people? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" And with that, Bleeh started screaming incoherently.

"Now, I can explain everything." said Dharden. Just listen...

--W H (Talk) 06:50, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

Chapter XIII - The Truth[edit | edit source]

The Truth
Name: The Truth
Series: PlumbBobs & Prejudice
Written by: LostInRiverview
Release date: May 18, 2011

Chronology
Previous chapter: Irc
Next chapter: Undercover

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"Now, I can explain everything." said Dharden. Just listen...

"No," said Alfred, "I'm afraid at this point, I might be better suited to explain this... to all of you, as well as to you, Bleeh." Bleeh nodded in silent appreciation.

"Now then, let us begin at the Alliance. We are here to protect Simswiki from harm and to preserve it. Recently, events have occurred which threaten to harm the people and the success of Simswiki, so we have worked to prevent it. However, the forces we oppose are much stronger than originally anticipated, and so we struggle to maintain the safety of our leading family.

"From the beginning, we have opposed the marriage of Archibald Andrews to Lady Bleeh, but Alice and Dharden have been too greedy to heed warning, to pay any attention to the dastardly schemes Archibald... and Liron, were hatching." Bleeh looked at Alfred with a confused expression. "When everything began to happen, we knew that we had to get Bleeh out of Wiki Manor at once. We coordinated her rescue before Archibald could carry out his plan to kidnap her."

"But WHY?" Bleeh asked, "Why does Archibald care so much!?"

"You see," Alfred spoke again, "you are the heiress to the Wiki fortune and its power. You - not Duskey, not Liron - are the one that will take over. Apparently, Liron was not trusted and Duskey... well, there was some fear that Duskey wouldn't stick around, that he would disappear rather than lead."

"Please... please don't say that about him, not after what happened." Bleeh said.

"After what happened?" a member of the Alliance asked.

Bleeh paused for a moment. "Well... Archibald killed Duskey. I saw... I saw him do it, before I could escape." The room fell into complete silence. "So, Liron and Duskey are both dead." Bleeh said.

"And, Bleeh, that's not the half of it." Alfred spoke, as if what he was preparing to say had burdened him for some time. "Unbeknownst to everyone except us, you," Alfred said, speaking to Bleeh, "have lost relatives."

"Richard and Asora," Bleeh said, before she realized what she was saying.

"Why... why yes, yes indeed." Everyone's eyes were now focused completely on Bleeh. "How did you know that?" Alfred asked, himself stunned.

"I... I saw them visit the Manor. It was after I was... I was rescued."

"But you weren't rescued. What?" Alfred was now totally confused.

So, Bleeh recounted to them all the story of how she had escaped from Wiki Manor with Duskey, how the Alliance had been attacked, how Alfred had rescued her the first time and how she had come to be captured by Bob. "Yes, yes we know all that," Alfred said, "But you still haven't explained how you know all that you know. No one has ever told you... has ever told you the truth in all this."

"But it happened," Bleeh said, "I know it happened. Archibald rescued me... he rescued me, and then Richard and Asora arrived, then Liron was shot, then I met Guilherme..."

"How do you know me?" Miss Guilherme Guerreiro stood up in the back of the room. "I can assure you that we've never met. I don't know who you are."

"Further," Alfred said, "there's no way you met Richard or Asora. In fact, few people here even know of their true existence... we had originally hired them as investigators. They were tasked with studying Archibald, to figure out what he was doing. They collaborated with Rosalyn and ultimately discovered what Liron was up to."

"What was Liron up to?" Bleeh asked, now stern.

"He wanted you to marry Archibald so he could kill you, then the two were going to split the family fortune." Alfred said.

"That's not entirely true," a man walked in through the door - it was Liron.

"LIR!" Bleeh yelled out her nickname for her brother and she ran towards him, forgetting that just seconds before, she had been told of his plot to kill her. But Alfred hadn't forgotten.

"Seize him!" Alfred yelled as two men of the Alliance stood up and went towards him.

"Wait!" Liron yelled. "If you all want to die at the hands of Archibald, you'll apprehend me. If not, you'll escape here now while you can. He's coming."

"What should we believe you?" an alliance member yelled.

"Because I have Duskey's trust. He gave me this," Liron pulled out a piece of golden jewelry, a priceless family heirloom that had belonged to Duskey. "Duskey knew something might happen to him, and he entrusted this to me. Now, there are just one or two things that we need to handle." The two alliance men sat down, and Alfred spoke up.

"How are you not dead? Alice assured me that you had been killed."

"Yes... I saw... I saw it happen." Bleeh said, now in tears.

"Alice lied." Liron said. "She lied because she didn't want you all to know that I was still alive, still working to end Archibald's plot."

"But you were working AGAINST us!" Georgie yelled from the crowd. "Why the bloody hell should we believe you!?"

"At this point, all you can do is accept that Duskey trusted me," Liron said, keeping his cool. "Because we still have work to do. And it starts," Liron pointed a finger at Alice and Dharden, "

With apprehending those two."

- LostInRiverview talk · blog 16:33, May 18, 2011 (UTC)

Chapter XIV - Undercover[edit | edit source]

Undercover
Name: Undercover
Series: PlumbBobs & Prejudice
Written by: Woganhemlock
Release date: May 19, 2011

Chronology
Previous chapter: The Truth
Next chapter: Interrogation

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At this point, Bleeh stod up in shock, and Dharden and Alice had a look of shock on their faces.

"Liron... What are you talking about?" Dharden asked.

"I think you know what I am talking about". Liron said. He then tuned to Bleeh. "Bleeh, have you wondered why Archibald keeps finding us? I know the answer. Oh yes, I do. For, you see, Alice and Dharden are not in this room. They are being held somewhere, by a man we know as Bob."

At this point, a look passed over Bleeh's face.

"You don't mean..."

"Bob the Zombosis of Wonderland? Yes, I do. He is... not normal. He is working with Archibald. The two have been friends for a long time. Archie most likely promised Bob something in return for helping out, although I doubt he'll deliver..."


In a warehouse somewhere on the outskirts of Simswiki, Bob is sitting down to have his breakfast. He wonders why the greatest incompetent supervillain who lived still has to make do with toast, but he has more pressing issues at the moment.

Just then, Bob's second-in-command Tulle walked in to the room.

"Bob...BOB!"

"Huh? What?"

"Dreaming again why we only can eat toast, hmm? Honestly, it's because you are not a very good villain..."

Bob didn't answer.

"Anyway, the mole reports they are on to us. Liron has managed to find out they are not the real ones". At this point Tulle walked off into a small room, where Dharden and Alice were tied up. "So. How does Liron know what has happened..."


"I don't believe it. I just..." Bleeh trailed off. "This is... strange. What makes you think that this is true, Liron?"

"I have my sources." Short and simple. Liron refused to say more.

"Ok. Who trusts Liron?" No one replied.

"Fine. I'll explain it all. Do you ever wonder why Asora and Richard turned up all of a sudden? They were infiltrating Bob and Archie's organisation for years. Finding out everything there is about it. When Bob captured Alice and Dharden, they came to tell me."

Behind Liron, Asora stood up to speak.

"It's all true. All that Liron said is true." She looked as if she could say no more.

"I've heard enough. Seize them." ordered Bleeh.


Meanwhile, at the warehouse, Bob and Tulle are wondering what they should do next.

"Tulle, you do realise if Liron somehow knows this, he could know anything about our plans. Oh, Archie will not be happy..."

"Stop worrying about what Archie will think. What matters is how we will react to this..."


Back at Irc, Bleeh wonders how her parents will be saved.

"We need to save them, but it won't be easy. Does anyone know how we could save them?"

"Oh yes, I know." Richard said. "What we need is someone who knows Bob, how he operates, and what he's like. Fortunately, I know just the person for the job..."

--W H (Talk) 00:58, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Chapter XV - Interrogation[edit | edit source]

Undercover
Name: Undercover
Series: PlumbBobs & Prejudice
Written by: Woganhemlock
Release date: May 21, 2011

Chronology
Previous chapter: Undercover
Next chapter: TBA

Write a review!

I know someone who can help us" Richard said.

"Who?" asked Bleeh.

"Her name is Tulle. She..." He was promptly interrupted by Bleeh.

"Tulle? I remember her... from the warehouse. She... she wa talking with Bob. She's on his side."

"Incorrect, my lady. She is working for us as a double agent, to infiltrate Archibald and his organisation"

"But, what about Bob?" Bleeh asked.

""Bob the Zombosis is, in reality, also an alliance member. He has been an aquaintance of Archibald for years, since they were in school together. Bob possibly might consider Archibald as a friend, although I highly doubt Archibald sees him as such. Even though this might be true, do not be fooled, his loyalties are with us."

"So, we need to contact Tulle, she can help us rescue your parents" interjected Asora.

"Correct, Asora." stated Richard.

"But, why not ask Bob? He surely knows more?"

"I understand your curiosity. But, rest assured, he cannot know. Archibald... hears things. He has eyes everywhere. As we found out earlier..." At this, Richard gestured towards the locked room which held the impostors.

"Now, don't you think we should ask some questions to our friends?" Richard asked.

"Sure. I'll get the shotgun... for persuasion." Asora said.


Bleeh, Asora, Liron and Richard walked into the room. It was a small room, with no windows, and a single, bare lightbuld hanging from the ceiling. It sent a chill down Bleeh's spine. It reminded her of Bob's warehouse, perhaps her parents, her real parents, were in a room just like it right now.

"Ok. We know you are not who you say you are" Liron said to 'Alice' and 'Dharden', who were tied up in a chair in the middle of the room. He then reached forward and pulled off their masks, revealing Archibal's henchmen, Guy Salemis and Anthony Freeman.

"So." said Salemis. For someone in so much trouble, he acted incredibly calm, with a touch of mocking in his voice.

"Shut it, Salemis. We need answers. First, why are you doing this?"

"Why should I tell you"

Behind him, Asora loaded the shotgun.

"Ok, ok. Fine. Archie needed us to keep an eye on Bleeh. He has developde what can only be called an obsession over her.

"OK, where are Alice and Dharden?'

"In this room"

"The real ones." Liron sighed.

"Alright, already. They are at Bob's warehouse. We kidnapped them during the accident at the manor a few weeks ago. You won't get there in time. Bob is relocating soon" Salemis finished.

"I've heard enough. We need to act fast." Asora said.

"Richard, call Tulle. Then call the cops to get our friends here. Then make some coffee. This is going to be a long night..."

--W H (Talk) 00:09, May 21, 2011 (UTC)

Epilogue: Dearly Beloved[edit | edit source]

"Dearly beloved," the priest droned on, dressed in all black and holding his scriptures beside a freshly-dug grave, "we are gathered here today to commemorate the life and mourn the passing of a great person - Madame Alice Morris - who was tragically lost in a freak llama accident." The priest laid a hand on a casket painted silvery white, being slowly lowered into the earth. "We also commemorate Duskey Morris," he said as he placed his other hand on another casket, this of modest wooden construction, being lowered into an adjacent grave, "who was tragically lost when his sailboat drifted too far from shore and was destroyed by the Kraken, before his body was consumed by sharks." The priest lowered his head for a moment, then stepped to his left, to another pair of gravestones, "And also, we memorialize young Lady Marie Harriet Clementina Blehna and Archibald Andrews of Fanville, who were killed by a stampede of customers running to EA headquarters to demand a refund for their copy of SimCity 2013," he placed a hand on Lady Blehna's casket, constructed of pure Canadian maple wood and draped in a flag of Greenland, "may they rest in peace... and also," stepping to another pair of graves, "we bid fond farewell to Richard Ranaun, who fell into a coma following a terrible spline reticulation accident and did not recover, and to Guilherme Guerreiro, who died after being given a rose by Sir Ecks and suffering a severe allergic reaction," He placed his free hand on both caskets in turn, then walked again to his left, "And to brave Asora Turner and Lord George of Gibbons, who perished during the great Corymach War -"

"Wait a minute!" A woman in the crowd stood and shouted, "We're not dead!"

"Yeah!" Lord George stood beside Asora Turner, "We've just retired."

"Yeah, don't you know? Lord George moved to California, and he stole a kid's liver," Auror said.

"Well in that case, who did we place in the caskets then?" The priest wondered. As he said this, a new person walked into the crowd.

"Hello," he said. No one replied. Then he said very quickly, "ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand."

"HYAAAA!" A young man drinking maple syrup jumped up from the crowd, lept into the air, and karate kicked the babbling man out of the funeral. "He'll be back. Let's set this funeral to mode +r."

"In any case," the priest continued, "however these people died, let's remember them, and then never speak of them again. Also, farewell to that iguana. Yeah, you thought we forgot about the iguana, didn't you? Because we didn't!

"In any case, it's time for a new story."


A light rain fell as the crowd left the burial. A young man dressed in black descended from the cemetery to the parking lot. He stood for a moment by his car, and was joined by the mysterious maple syrup guzzling man.

"It's good to see you, Lieutenant Kay Ay."

"You as well, Captain Liron." Mr. Kay Ay said. "We'd better get back to the station. Officer Syde is probably going to have another lead for us in the ILS5 case."

"Wait a minute," Liron said, "we're waiting for someone - oh, here he comes!" Another man, younger and waving a Portuguese flag, ran up beside the pair. He saluted to both in turn.

"Captian. Lieutenant. Officer Dan Pin, reporting for duty."

"Good to have you aboard," Liron said.

"Now hop in the squad car, we've got lots of work ahead of us down at the station." Mr. Kay Ay said, getting into the driver's seat of the squad car.

"Hey Liron," Officer Pin said as they got into the vehicle, "You should see this!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop saying my name?" Liron yelled as he slammed the car door shut.

Fin

Coming this fall to the Sims Broadcasting Network:

Plumb(b)ob PD

Life on the streets of Sims Wiki is hard. It takes a team of dedicated cops to keep them clean!

Starring:

  • Lord Liron, the Police Chief, who is set on finding the evil llama that killed his mother. He's not above boldly acting and pushing the envelope.
  • Mr. Kay Ay, a cop on loan from the big city (Wikipediopolis), who is very by-the-book and often cites his big city regulations.
  • Officer Syde, the over-eager cadet who sometimes bites off more than he can chew.
  • Officer Pin, the young Portuguese officer with secrets of his own.
  • Ben C, the department's tech expert.
  • Delta, the mysterious robot given to the police department long ago.
  • and Steve, the Police Department's butler... wait, do police departments use butlers?

Coming this fall, Thursdays at 10:00! Check your local listings. Information subject to change

-- LostInRiverview talkblogcontribs 07:53, April 18, 2015 (UTC)