Fanon:Time Paradox/Laconic
Once, there were the Alkmaionidai who turtled up and made little contact with the locals. Then came the Attalids, who were much more active than the Alkmaionidai, much more lively. Inside the party-loving mix was not-so-party-loving Stratonike, who was a Simbot fan and wanted to make one. Then came the Beauty 4, with conflicting goals, much more diverse than the largely unified Attalids. Kallisto, who will later establish the main faction later on, makes big friends with Stratonike, even though the Attalids and the Beauty 4 were already good friends to begin with. Later on, Beauty 4 visits Bridgeport and they are spurned by them snobby celebrities who can't take superiors despite them being much more skilled in general, but in turn spreads the celebrity culture to the suburban Sunset Valley.
Hypatia pops out of nowhere, presumably from Pydna, hijacks Beauty 4, and goes wololo on Stratonike and establishes the first academic conglomerate, the Scholars' Alliance. However, all goes well until they are swept into a new timeline, where Christopher Steel comes and screws things up for the Alliance while the Alkmaionids once again pave themselves in, this time with a little guest named Lysistrata.
Kallisto and Stratonike believes romance is screwing things up and Stratonike later recants, only to recant that later, and decides to GTHO and make the Union of the Insane that eventually becomes the framework for the Church. With that, Scholars Alliance is severely weakened, and the conflict between Demetria and Hypatia caused by Christopher's Don Lothario move eventually drives Hypatia out when Kallisto invites Hypatia in.
Things seem to turn for the better, as they go into a state of perpetual academic olympics with the goal of having no winner given that the contest is indefinite, until Kallistrata moves in, when things go awry again, and Lysistrata and Stratonike goes screw this and temporarily separate, and Kallistrata, Hypatia and Kallisto (and Eurydike) goes around reforming things and making a religion that vilifies the thing that drove the organization to the ground and the same thing that everybody else loves for no apparent reason. But then Kallisto gets bombarded with meaningless rumors by jealous papparazzis, forcing Kallisto to turn quasi-political, partying hardcore (at least, hosting them) and building an amphitheatron just to keep people entertained, while engaging in the policy of Détente, eventually getting Lysistrata and Stratonike to rejoin and kick Hypatia's stepson and his imaginary friends just to make room.
To separate the former lovers from future love interests, Kallisto decides to GTHO of Sunset Valley, creating Hekatonschoinos just for that purpose. However, things are slow around there, although Kallisto got to do crazy experiments there. Having made such progress, Kallisto turns to the heretic who really just wanted some openness to romance Antigone, training Tessa to serve as a spy, although Tessa (alongside her sister Nicole and cousin Rachel) was a better guinea pig than a spy, all while training anime characters disciples Chrysanthema, Vocaloid Esomena, and Pyrrha to be the successors, even though the Big 6 were immortal to begin with anyways.
After all the ruckus, things go well for the Church: Antigone (and Achaia) gets screwed, Eurydike and Hypatia go necromancers, and Chrysanthema joins the big guys. And then Esomena goes heretic, Kallisto quickly corrects that, and Stratonike makes the thing smooth. And soon Kallisto decided to reclaim her old world, and through that process set up a state with which to launch a great crusade bent on stomping out the things that pissed off Kallisto. Unfortunately for her buddy Demetria and her clone gone bad Antigone, Bridgeport was one of the primary targets, and subjected to mind-guided rods of God. Having seen things blown to the smithereens (Matthew Hamming lost his hot tub and car), angry celebrities ended up forming the Council of Bridgeport trying to do something (even though all they got is fame and money as well as their inability to grasp how the world works) to stop Kallisto's aggression.
Meanwhile Kallisto has a greater fish to fry, making the final step towards integrating the second and the third timeline, leaving Kallistrata in charge of the project the all while having Kallistrata and Stratonike establish colonies around the world (a plan that hasn't been executed at a large scale), all while Isis and her bud Akio spies on them (but nobody gives them any attention). However, back at the Papal States, the Muslims establish themselves as a competitor in the realm of nectar, using the Ecclesiarchal fruits as their raw material.
Astronomican Chrononomion that is scrapped for being fluff
All while this is going on, Kallisto has issues to solve in her own capital (and making another one), given that people complain about crushing tax rates. Ecclesiarchal science hits all high, artificial humans are created, and science and magic are amalgated in the Papal State for maximum economic productivity.
Meanwhile unhappy Aigyptians whose lives were ruined by oil spills decided to get rid of those wealthy capitalist western people who embrace soulless consumerism and devilish pop culture. Al-Dar definitely not Al-Qaida steps in with boatload of moola, and Aigyptians become the fourth political entity to declare independence. A counteroffensive is launched, but celebrities go commissars and all goes to inferno for the SimNationian army. Things grow even deeper for SimNation when the witches and supernaturals grow more favorable to the Papacy, and the massive failure in suppressing Aigyptians isn't doing much to help it after Ezekiel attempts to bring it back to SimNationian order is met with several opposition.
Basically life sucks, there is only war and you are probably going to get either snuffed out by Rods of God, eaten by vampires, steamrolled by Kallisto's Simbots, hit by an actual meteor, starve to death, run off the town, led by incompetent celebrities or worse. Have fun, sims!
Even Shorter[edit | edit source]
Greeks time travel, they become OP, romance happens, Kallisto gets pissed off, turning into a hilariously aggrandized form of conflict (and read poopfest) between the (mostly decadent) upper class drowning in luxury and the religiously transhumanist and technocratic folk, with the non-nerds largely supporting the popular kids because they disagree with the nerds on some positions.
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