Artist: Difference between revisions

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" | -No Description-

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!colspan="3" |2) Brush Washer

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |Fortunately, the paste from your earlier job has permanently sealed your hands with a protective chemical residue, forever protecting you from the elements (and all human feeling). As a result, the oil based solvents used in brush washing will create only a painful burning sensation.

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!colspan="3" |3) Sign Painter

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |Finally, a role to exercise your artistic spirit. Small towns enjoy reading rustic signs that contain quaint misspellings like "fresh gote" or " live baite". Your eye for detail and steady brush work are destined to get you noticed in this prolific field of creative misspelling.

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!colspan="3" |4) Mural Painter

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |This job is more than just painting on public spaces legally. It is about social emancipation. Famous murals have functioned as an important means of communication for members of socially divided communities in times of conflict. They are an effective tool in establishing a dialogue and this advancing society. It also pays better than barn painting

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!colspan="3" |5) Prom Decorator

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |It's time to make a name for yourself in the high visibility job of prom decorating. Whether the prom's theme is "Under the Sea", "Over the Stars", or "In the Ditch", it is your job to make prom night a night to remember. In the off-season, you will work in the school office filing paper clips alphabetically.

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!colspan="3" |6) Assistant Art Teacher

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |All of your talents and previous experience have clearly impressed someone. You now get to organize paste and clean brushes at the same time. Does any living person deserve this much happiness? Yes. You deserve this happiness. You have earned it.

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!colspan="3" |7) Art Teacher

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |You now get to spend your days teaching students how to express themselves (in accordance with government regulation) with (government approved) oils, acrylics, and inks. You will then present your students' (government approved) art at the annual country fair for a (government sanctioned) art contest. This year's theme: the superiority of our leaders.

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!colspan="3" |8) Arts Council Member

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |The Arts Council is ostensibly about approving and promoting the community's artistic values. In actuality, the art council gives unemployed men and women a venue for expressing their Napoleonic impulses through the filter of official government business.

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!colspan="3" |9) Arts Council Chairperson

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |During your tenure as arts council member, your proposal to make paste out of recycled mayonnaise earned you instant respect and credibility. You have now been elected to Arts Council Chairperson, where you may use your considerable power to promote your own ideas.

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!colspan="3" |10) Art Gallery Owner

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|rowspan="5" valign="top" |What gets hung where? Are non-paying customers allowed to use the bathroom? These are just some of the important decisions you will make as owner of your very own art gallery. And business couldn't be better ever since that new Chowder Shack moved next door. Those Chowder Shacks sure do bring in the foot traffic.

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