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{{DEFAULTSORT:Look At My Sword!}}
{{Property|DanPin}}
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|creator=[[User:DanPin|DanPin]]
|rating=PG14
|status=
|originalrun=August 21, 2011 - January 1st, 2012
|numberofchapters=
'''''Look At My Sword!''''' (a.k.a. '''LAMS''') is a Comedy fan-fiction created by DanPin. Its first chapter was released on August 21, 2011.
==Characters==
[[Fanon:King Vic The Illustrious|King Vic The Illustrious]] – The king of Noobland. His funny antics are always scaring the villagers.
Princess Elianne – Vic’s crush from Effenmont. She is in Noobland because her father was sick of her behavior.
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Sir Broderick – A knight and Vic’s best friend. He is the kingdom’s Casanova.
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Prior Angus – Noobland’s Peteran Priest. He is very wise and is respected by the villagers, despite his young age.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Troubadour Barnabus – A bard and the Tavern’s owner. He is a little greedy.</span>
Forgemaster James – Noobland’s Smithy. Most women have a crush on him.
==Development==
'''''Look At My Sword''''' was idealized by [[User:DanPin|DanPin]] on August 4, 2011, during a conversation in the [[The Sims Wiki:IRC Channel|IRC Channel]]. The story is currently being written and the first chapter
==Chapter 1==
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay, I’ll tell you” said Broderick. “I had WooHoo with Princess Elianne!”</span>
==<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Chapter 4</span>==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“You what?” asked Bowen, angrily. “You know, King Vic is now trying to talk to her! He likes her!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“So? It doesn’t mean that…” Broderick stop talking for a moment. “Oh. I see. I have to tell Vic. But… this bed is so comfortable! More comfortable than other medieval beds, you know? And…” Broderick’s voice changed its tone to a flirtier one. “Want to join me?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Ugh… Let me think. NO!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen grabbed Sir Broderick’s garments and threw them at him. Then, she said in an annoyed tone:</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Get dressed, you little male harlot!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">When they left the inn, they saw Vic running towards them.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Guys, thank god you’re here. I was talking to Princess Elianne and… I failed at wooing her” said Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Well, Broderick knows some juicy details about Elianne” said Bowen. “Right? Something that… happened in the inn?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Hum…” babbled Broderick. “I… had fun with her.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“What kind of fun, Broderick?” asked Bowen, in a scoffer tone.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“We had fun with… WooHoo?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“What?” inquired Vic, surprised. “You had WooHoo with that woman? That’s it. I am sending you to the stocks for two hours!” shouted. “What time is it, Bowen?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“It’s seven o’clock, so… Broderick, you’ll be set free at nine. Vic, look! There is a Constable!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Vic then gave an arrest order to the Constable, who took Broderick to the stocks.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Bowen. We need to get the Princess at the Reception Hall this evening. I need your female intuition to lead her there, okay?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Sure. I will do it right away.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay. I’ll be near the stocks if you need me.”</span>
==<span lang="EN-US" style="">Chapter 5</span>==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen was rushing through the Village, hoping to find Elianne. When she found her, she approached the Princess and said:</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, hello.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Hum… Hi.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“My name is Bowen. I am Noobland’s physician.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, really? Thank Watcher!” said Elianne, joyfully. “I had WooHoo with a knight last night and… I think he gave me a VD.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay. Let’s go to my clinic.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Meanwhile, in the stocks, Vic was getting some tomatoes and rotten eggs while the Constable was locking Sir Broderick. When he was locked, Vic got a huge, rotten egg and threw it at the knight.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Dude! C’mon! I wanted to woo that woman!” yelled Vic.</span>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Vic, I didn’t know. Also, she took the first step.” The rotten egg hit Broderick in the middle of his forehead. “Wow, you got a fantastic aim!”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Thanks. Just for that, you’re being released half an hour earlier.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Gee, thank you.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“You’re welcome. Now… tomato, egg or rock?” asked Vic, while picking up a stone from the ground.</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Hum… A tomato.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Rock it is!”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">While Vic was throwing rocks, eggs and tomatoes at Broderick, Bowen was at the Sacred Spleen Clinic with Elianne. The latter was lying on the operation table.</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“This won’t hurt, will it?”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“No. Now, spread your legs so I can examine your reproductive system.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">Bowen then started inspecting Elianne’s private parts when she noticed something.</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Are you itchy?”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Sometimes.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“You have craps” said Bowen. She then gave Elianne a bottle with a pink creamy substance inside it. “Please apply this lotion every 12 hours for seven days. Also, avoid having WooHoo.”</span></p>
<p style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Thank you. What do I owe you?”</span></p>
<h2 style="tab-stops:265.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">Chapter 6</span></h2>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Hmm… You can come to the Reception Hall this evening” said Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“No. I will stay in the Tavern drinking.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay. 200 simoles, then.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Here you go” Elianne then gave Bowen twenty coins of 10 simoles each. “Thanks for the help.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen knew that her mission failed. The then headed to the Monastery. Meanwhile, at the stocks…</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“But… WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER?” yelled Vic, while throwing an egg at Sir Broderick’s face, which was full of bruises.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Dude. I didn’t know you liked this girl. Also… I think she gave me a VD!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Really? Well… let’s get you to the Clinic. Constable, release him.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">When they arrived at the clinic, they noticed the door was locked. Vic then saw a note stuck to Bowen’s door. It said “I am at the Monastery. Send me a pigeon if you need me”. They realized that there were no pigeons with them (or around them), so they went to the religious building.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Broderick, what’s your religion?” asked Vic, while they were walking.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I’m a Peteran. What about you?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I’m a Peteran as well. I wasn’t going to let Jacobans to raise a cathedral in here, but the Royal Advisor told me to do it – some people could be mad.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Indeed.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">At the Monastery, Bowen was talking to Prior Angus, the Peteran Priest of Noobland.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Prior Angus, I don’t know what to do. What if King Vic sends me to the stocks, or to… the pit?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Bowen. Listen to me. Relax. The king has a deep fondness for you. You’re a good friend. Also, Princess Elianne is a harlot, don’t you think?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I guess so.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Bowen!” screamed a voice, from the Monastery door.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, good Watcher!” yelled Bowen, frightened.</span>
==<span lang="EN-US" style="">Chapter 7</span>==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Vic? Broderick? What are you guys doing in here?” asked Bowen, surprised.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“We need your help” replied Vic. “Sir Broderick thinks the Princess gave him a VD.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“That is odd. She told me she got a VD from him!”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“So… Can you help me or not?” questioned Broderick, worried.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yes, I can” answered Bowen. “Prior Angus, can I examine him in your chambers?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Sure, go ahead. But be careful… The Watcher is watching you” whispered Angus. “He could be a pervert, so… avoid any nasty business.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, don’t worry. We will pixelate” said Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">And then, Sir Broderick and Bloodletter Bowen went inside of Prior Angus’ chambers. Meanwhile, outside of the room…</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Your Royal Highness, Miss Bowen failed at her task” said Angus.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, don’t worry. She did what she could. I am disappointed, but I think I will be able to do this. I wonder what is happening inside your chambers…”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay” said Bowen, inside the chamber. “Take down your pants.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Well, sure. But you aren’t getting any luck” replied Broderick, as he took down his pants and undergarments.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I am a doctor. Now…” Bowen stopped in the middle of her sentence because it was the second time she had to look at Broderick’s lower body parts. “…I am going to spray you with this ‘Watcher-Pixelation’ potion, so that he is only able to see pixels instead of your… you know.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay. Go ahead.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen examined Broderick very carefully. She looked through every inch of the area, until…</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“You’re safe. No VDs around here.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, thank Watcher!” shouted Broderick. “Also, I felt an itch when you sprayed me.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, I see. I heard that the potion kills craps. Elianne also had these, but I treated them.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“And… thank you, Bowen” said Broderick as he pulled up his pants. “I owe you one.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yes, you do. Now, let’s get that woman into Vic’s arms!”</span>
==Chapter 8==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">It was half past eight when Vic, Bowen and Broderick left the Monastery, after a quick praying session. The party was going to start in twelve hours, so Vic had to woo Elianne until then.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“We can send a pigeon to the Town Crier asking for assistance” said Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“How many pigeons have you got?” asked Vic and Broderick, at the same time. “We don’t have any of them with us.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I have one” replied Bowen. “I hope this works.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen picked up a piece of paper and wrote in it:</span>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm;text-align:justify">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Dear Town Crier,</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm;text-align:justify">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">King Vic, Sir Broderick and I want to know the whereabouts of Princess Elianne from Effenmont. If you happen to know this information, please reply to me. We will be at the tavern.</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm;text-align:justify">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Best wishes,</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm;text-align:justify">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bloodletter Bowen</span>''</p>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Let’s go to the tavern” said Bowen. “There is the possibility that she might be there.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay. Vic, do you agree with this?” asked Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yeah, sure.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">And so they continued their path, hoping to find Princess Elianne. When they arrived at the tavern, everyone was surprised to find King Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Your Royal Highness” said a man. “I am the Bard and owner of this tavern. My name is Barnabus.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay, Barnabus. We would like your best table” replied Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Barnabus led them to a small table, near the window. He then placed in the table three glasses of ale.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“From my best collection, to please a king like you” he said.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Thanks” answered Broderick. Barnabus then left. “Okay. She is not here.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And I’ve got an idea…”</span>
==<span lang="EN-US" style="">Chapter 9</span>==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Vic, do you remember that Quest we did a while ago?” asked Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“The one in which we had to scare a peasant into returning a stolen object?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yeah. If we do the same with Elianne, it may work.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Broderick, I am not sure if it works” said Bowen. “I could craft a potion filled with Flunitrazepam.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Flun-what?” asked Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“It is also called <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">Rohypnol.”</span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“Oh. I used that on a girl once” said Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“I see. Bowen, could you please tell me why Broderick has the Licentious Fatal Flaw and the Chivalrous trait? I don’t get how this is possible.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“Vic, it isn’t a trait conflict. It should be, but it isn’t” alleged Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“Okay. Let’s get back to the plan” demanded Vic. “So, Elianne is in the… Where is she again?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">As Vic pronounced these words, a pigeon flew towards the window were sitting next to and went through the window. It dropped a scroll and then started flying in circles inside the tavern.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“Hmm. It is a message from the Town Crier” said Bowen.</span>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">Dear Bowen,</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">I saw her going to the Forest half an hour ago.</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">Best wishes for your Quest,</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">The Town Crier</span>''</p>
<p style="margin-top:0cm;margin-right:28.3pt;margin-bottom: 10.0pt;margin-left:1.0cm">''<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold">PS: Tell the King I wish him a happy birthday.</span>''</p>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">“She is in the forest” said Bowen, while reading the scroll. “Oh, and the Town Crier wishes you a happy birthday, Vic.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“So, my plan was…” Vic was interrupted when the pigeon, trying to leave the tavern, hit the wall, right next to the window. “Seriously, that pigeon is dumb.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“It’s dead” said Bowen, while checking the bird’s pulse. “Does anyone want pigeon soup?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Sure. It is almost noon” whispered Vic. He then asked Barnabus to cook the pigeon and to make a soup. “The plan is…”</span>
==Chapter 10==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“The plan is this…” said Vic, waiting for another interruption, which didn’t occur. “… Elianne is in the Forest, probably picking flowers or whatever. Then, Broderick, who is unrecognizable with his face full of bruises, will put on a special piece of armor I have and will threaten her.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Why me?” asked Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“You are a knight. You know how to do this” replied Vic. “Anyways… She will be scared. Then, I appear from the middle of the Forest with my favorite armor and sword and challenge you to a duel. You let me win, and she will appreciate my gesture that she will come to my birthday party and we’ll watch a special firework show made by the Wizard. I want opinions… now.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I want to ask you a question” said Bowen. “How are you king? This plan is so wacky I doubt it will work.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“It’s better than yours!” shouted Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Better than yours…” copied Bowen, in a childish tone.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“PEOPLE!” yelled Vic. “I am your king. Do as I say. If it doesn’t work, it is my problem, then.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen and Broderick settled down. She then said:</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Your plan is kinda good…”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I agree with her” said Broderick. “I am also wondering when we’re getting our soup.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">When Broderick finished pronouncing those words, Barnabus arrived with a big bowl of pigeon soup.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“On the house, milord” he said. “You two need to pay me 15 simoles each.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Barnabus, man! We’re with the king!” yelled Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Fine. It’s free.” Barnabus then left. And as our heroes ate the soup, they knew there was still a lot ahead of them…</span>
==Chapter 11==
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Okay, now we need to visit the good ol’ Blacksmith” said Vic, as they left the tavern.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I never saw the Blacksmith. Is he hot?” asked Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I heard he is the only Hero in here to have a Legendary Trait” whispered Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Indeed. He has the Patient Legendary Trait” replied Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I also haven’t heard an answer to my question. Is he hot?” asked Bowen, impatiently.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yes, he is very handsome” replied Broderick and Vic, at the same time.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, I want to see him!” said Bowen, excited. She then ran towards the building, which was twenty feet away from them.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“What’s wrong with her, Broderick?” asked Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh, she saw my flesh sword twice today.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I see.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“OH… MY… WATCHER!!!” yelled Bowen, from inside the house.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Both Vic and Broderick ran towards the building, where a fainted Bowen was in the Smithy’s arms.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Dudes… Who is this chick?” asked the Blacksmith.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Oh… James, that woman is Bloodletter Bowen, the Physician” said Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Bowen then regained conscience and saw Forgemaster James, the Blacksmith. He then put her down in a chair.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Vic… he is… dreamy!” proclaimed Bowen.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Yeah, I’m naming my son after him.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“So…” said James. “What do you want?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“We need some armors and you’re the only one in here who can make them” said Vic.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Which ones?” asked James.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Vic then approached his ear and whispered something.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“A dinner plate? Man, I can’t do that. I am a blacksmith, not a pottery guy.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Vic then whispered another thing to his ear.</span>
<p style="tab-stops:181.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">“Ah… I see. Sure thing.”<span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></span></p>
<h2 style="tab-stops:181.5pt"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US">Chapter 12</span></h2>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">Vic and Broderick were in the town square, in their armors, practicing for their fake battle. Meanwhile, Bowen was sitting in the same chair, watching James forging Vic and Broderick’s armors and weapons.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“And then, I will perform a Whirling Takedown and you’ll fall down” said Vic, as he performed the move and both Broderick and Vic fell.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Dammit, man! That hurt!” shouted Broderick.</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I also hurt my elbow, so… shut up.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Do you think he is going to take too long?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“A little bit. But don’t worry, he is a professional.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Also… What do you see in Elianne, Vic?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“I have a thing for elves.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“That is… creepy.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“It is? Heh, I didn’t notice. Anyways, you may not like the feeling of your sword.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Why?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Hum… You won’t like it. And you don’t have to worry. Prior Angus is going to help you with that.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“You’re starting to freak me out.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“You’re starting to overreact.”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Let’s get this over with, okay?”</span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“Fine!”</span>
==Chapter 13==
It was already 3 o’clock when James finished forging Broderick and Vic’s gear. He quickly gave them the armors and swords. Vic paid James the respective amount of Simoles and left towards the forest, along with Broderick and Bowen. They entered the forest outskirts and kept walking until they reached a glade with a crown drawn in a tree.
“We are here” said Vic, taking off his clothes. Broderick started undressing himself as well.
“What are you doing?” asked Bowen. “Armor goes ON TOP of your clothes!”
“No, it doesn’t” corrected Broderick. “Trust me, Vic and I have to wear armor on a daily basis. Also, if you’re not convinced, check Yahoo! Answers.”
“What are those?” asked Bowen.
“I don’t know… Something the Watcher made me say” replied Broderick, as he pulled down his pants. Bowen was in shock to find out that he didn’t have anything underneath.
“Gaaah! What happened to your undergarments?” asked Bowen, in shock.
“I left them at the Inn. You were such in a hurry that I forgot to get them.”
“You two use undergarments?” asked Vic, trying to hold his laugh. “A king’s private parts shouldn’t be trapped in cloth! I only wore those back at my home land. Anyways, we should get our armors. Broderick, your equipment is the black set and mine is the white one.”
“Dude, I just hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” said Broderick while he put his armor on. “These are creepy!”
“Broderick! Stop whining!” shouted Bowen. “We are going to make this happen. If you have a problem, deal with it! We are going to fulfill our goal, whether you like it or not!”
“Fine…” replied Broderick. “Let’s get this show on the road!”
==Chapter 14==
“Okay, Broderick” said Vic. Both of them were in their armors, hiding behind some bushes. “There's Elianne. Come on. Scare the dung out of her!”
“Is it safe to say that, like, in Wikia?” asked Bowen.
“What?” said both Broderick and Vic, in unison.
“Meh. Never mind.”
“Let’s move on, shall we? Broderick, go! She is picking some flowers!” shouted Vic.
“FINE! I’m going!” said Broderick. “And I don’t like the feeling this sword is giving me…”
“What do you want? It’s a Doomsword. That’s why Prior Angus is here” replied Vic, annoyed.
“Hi, guys!” said Angus, coming out of a bush.
“Okay. This is getting too weird” whispered Broderick. “I’m going in.”
Broderick left the glade and continued walking. Suddenly, he teleported and got right next to the Princess. He then held the Doomsword next to Elianne’s neck and said, in a dark tone:
“Give me all your money or I’ll kill you!”
“Gaah!” yelled Elianne. “I don’t have any. I swear!”
“Really? I believe you are… a Princess.” Broderick then put his hand in her bag.
“What are these? Coins? Oh, these are Gold Simoles!
“THEY ARE MINE! Leave me alone!”
“Not quite yet…” Broderick gave her a punch and she fell to the ground.
“Help… Help!” said Elianne, crying.
“Leave her alone, you bandit!” shouted a person.
“Who’s that?” asked Broderick. The person came out of the bushes, wearing an Angelsguard and wielding an Angel’s Talon.
“’Tis your Monarch, King Vic The Illustrious!”
==Chapter 15==
Broderick faked a scared look. He then tried to pretend he didn’t see that coming:
“King Vic!” he shouted, while he held the Doomsword next to Elianne’s neck. “You shouldn’t be here in this part of the Forest!”
“Well, it IS my kingdom” replied Vic, while speaking in an eloquent tone. He then rose his Angel’s Talon. “Also, my dear foe, you are underestimating the awesome power of King Vic the Illustrious!”
“Well, we will see about that!” said Broderick. He then lowered his sword and pushed Elianne, who fell and hit her head in a rock.
Vic then looked at Broderick with pure anger.
“OH, IT IS ON, PAL!” he screamed.
Vic charged at Broderick. Broderick almost wasn’t able to dodge the attack. He then backed away and swept his sword in the air. A fire arrow came out of the weapon and hit Vic’s knee.
“Ugh!” moaned Vic. Luckily, the Angelsguard protected his leg and the arrow only damaged a bit his knee. “Dude. REALLY? A SKYRIM REFERENCE?”
“What is that?” asked Broderick, confused.
While Broderick had his guard down, Vic approached him and hit him with the sword’s handle.
As Broderick’s helmet flew off, the Monarch wasn’t prepared for what he saw.
“What? Damn, what happened in there?” asked Vic.
From the glade, Bowen watched the horribly deformed look of Broderick’s.
“Oh my, Broderick. What is wrong with your face?” thought Bowen.
==Chapter 16==
Bowen and Angus looked from the glade at Broderick’s horribly deformed face. His left cheek was burnt and his eyes were red.
“Prior Angus, do you know what happened?”
“My darling, those are the effects of the Doomsword.”
“How can a sword do that?”
“Cutie pie, we live in medieval times. It’s part of our nature to believe blindly in all sorts of things. But what matters here is that Doomswords are cursed.”
“Cursed?” asked Bowen, with a worried look.
“Yes. You heard me. Unless we separate your friend from that sword, his soul will disappear and he will become pure evil.”
Vic then looked at the glade. Bowen and Angus’ faces were poking out of a bush. She then showed some gestures.
“Those signs…” thought Vic. “Separate… Broderick’s… Sward? What? That makes no sense. Why would he have a piece ground containing a matt of grass and grass roots?” Vic then stopped. “Oh. SWORD! Bowen sucks at Sim Sign Language. Okay. I know what I have to do.”
Meanwhile, Bowen and Angus snuck out of the glade and carefully approached Elianne.
“Elianne?” asked Bowen. “ELIANNE!”
“Let me take care of this” whispered Angus. “Lady, wake up!” He then slapped her a couple of times. Shortly after, she opened her eyes.
“Oh, girl” said Bowen, relieved. “You’re back.”
==Chapter 17==
“What’s happening?” said Elianne, baffled.
“A man assaulted you and the king came in your rescue” answered Bowen.
Elianne then tried to look at the battle.
“Eat mithral, you dummy!” shouted Vic, as he performed a Whirling Takedown on Broderick.
“Angus! Prepare to bless him!” said Bowen.
“I’m on my way!” Angus then got up and took out a bottle of Blessed Well Water as Broderick fell to the ground. The sword had fallen a couple of meters from them.
“Come on, buddy. Drink this. It will make you better.”
As Angus opened Broderick’s mouth and made him drink the water, Vic put away his Angel’s Talon. Elianne was still lying on the floor, with her head resting on Bowen’s lap.
“I’m… huh… going to dispose of this horrible sword” said Vic, while pointing at the Doomsword.
“Let me dispose of it” said Broderick, with a slightly evil smile.
“Easy, tiger” whispered Angus, while he pushed the knight’s chest towards the ground. “You’re not doing anything to that weapon. I’ll get rid of it.”
“Thanks, man. Throw it into the beast’s pit” replied Vic.
Angus picked up the sword and started leaving the forest.
“Wait!” shouted Bowen. “We’re already prepared to go. Let’s all go!”
==Chapter 18==
They all left the forest and the sun was setting. Vic was carrying Broderick, Bowen was helping Elianne to walk and Angus carried the Doomsword… with a glove.
“I don’t like the feeling this is giving me” complained Angus. “I think the curse’s power multiplies because I am a priest.”
“Nonsense” replied Broderick. “Once you get used to it, you won’t…” Vic hit Broderick’s stomach with his elbow. “Ugh! Dude, I am alright!”
“Prior Angus” said Vic, while tightening the ropes that held Broderick’s torso onto Vic’s back. “How long does the blessed water take to have effect?”
“Just another hour and he will be safe and sound.”
“Terrific! That gives us enough time to feed the sword to the pit beast and go to the Reception Hall!”
Bowen noticed Elianne’s arm getting tense.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I don’t want to go to the Reception Hall” whispered Elianne to Bowen’s ear.
Bowen felt that they needed to be alone.
“Guys, we’ll meet you in the Reception Hall. We need to take care of something first” said Bowen, loudly.
“Okay, Bowen” replied Vic. He then complained to Broderick: “Dude, why do you keep getting heavier?”
Vic looked up and saw his friend trying to reach the Doomsword.
“Not so fast, pal!” shouted Angus, who hit Broderick with the handle.
As the men walked away, towards the pit and the stocks, Elianne looked at Bowen with a guilty face.
“Come on” said Bowen. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I… I like the king and feel thankful for what he did, but…”
==Chapter 19==
“But what?” asked Bowen.
“I…” Elianne stopped and took a deep breath. “I am married.”
Bowen had a blank stare on her face.
“Did you just say you’re married?”
“Yeah. It was a stupid thing. See, I fell in love when I was about 12 and we got married three years later. I was 15 and he was 17. But then my dad didn’t like it and made me wander around the world. It took me four years to get here.”
“Wow. That’s so sad” said Bowen. “And damn, girl, you’re 19?”
“Yeah. Some people say I look like I am 24. Can you believe it? I am not some old chick!”
Bowen made an irate face.
“I am 24, for your information.”
“Oh” replied Elianne. She then tried to mend her mess. “But… you look great!”
“Watch it. If you say anything like that about me, and I swear to the Watcher, I will push you into the pit!” Bowen
then looked up.
“What’s wrong?”
“We are standing here for the past fifteen minutes and the sun is setting. We need to get back to the castle!”
Bowen and Elianne started running. Meanwhile, at the pit…
“Doris!” shouted Vic. A tentacle appeared. “Oh, good. You’re still awake. I’ve got something for you…”
The tentacle moved in happiness.
“Can I give her this?” asked Angus.
“Sure” replied Vic. “But be careful, because it can hurt you.” The tentacle made a thumbs up. “Okay. Go ahead.”
Angus threw the Doomsword into the pit. The beast started emitting a red glow. And soon, the tentacle was back where it
had been five minutes before.
“We need to get to the party” said Broderick, while Vic was putting him down. “Ouch. Vic, you’re lucky you’re only turning 20. Your body regenerates faster. Look at me. Five years older than you and that blessed water hasn’t helped me that much.”
==Chapter 20==
Elianne and Bowen entered the castle. The latter approached the Royal Advisor and asked:
“Has the king arrived?”
“No, he hasn’t. But the Town Crier told me he had seen them in the pit a quarter of hour ago.”
Bowen then made a gesture to Elianne telling her to follow her to the Reception Hall. When they entered the room, they were amazed by the decoration. The tables were arranged in a U shape and there was a stage against the wall. There were banners all over the place and everyone was dressed nicely. A jester was telling jokes on the stage.
Meanwhile, Vic, Angus and Broderick, already wearing their formal clothes, were leaving the Constable’s house.
“Thanks for letting us change outfits in there” said Vic.
“Oh, no problem. Anything for my king” said the Constable.
And then, they carried on their journey to the Reception Hall. When they got there, Vic and Elianne looked at each other and ran towards each other.
“My king, thank you so much for saving me.” She then kissed him on the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too” he replied, before kissing her again.
“Well, I’ve got to go” said Angus. “I have to give my sermon.”
The party was memorable. Everyone laughed at the Jester’s jokes and loved the Bard’s music, that gave a romantic atmosphere to the room. The meal was delicious and the party ended with firework magic performed by the Wizard. Everyone watched it from the Castle’s balcony.
“We make a great team” said Broderick, while hugging Bowen.
“Yes, yes we do” she replied, enamored.
“We would also make great babies” he whispered, in a flirty tone. Bowen laughed, until she saw the look on his face. “I am serious.
“That can be arranged. Let’s go to the Barracks” said Bowen, while pulling Broderick towards the exit.
“Before we get married,” said Elianne, “I need to tell you that I have a spouse back home.”
Then, a man came in.
“Elianne! It’s me, your estranged husband.” He then ran towards her but fell out of the balcony when Vic pushed him.
“No problem” replied Vic. “The death separated you two right now.”
==Epilogue==
Two months later, Vic and Elianne got married in a huge ceremony in the Monastery. Vic’s maturity grew and he renamed the kingdom to “SimLand”. Bowen and Broderick got married seven months after the royal wedding, but she went into labor during the reception and Parker was born.
The people of SimLand stopped fearing the king’s antics, because those stopped happening and the kingdom became the most important country in the area.
<p style="text-align: center;">'''THE END'''</p>
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