Fanon:PlumbBobs & Prejudice: Difference between revisions

"Dearly beloved," the priest droned on, dressed in all black and holding his scriptures beside a freshly-dug grave, "we are gathered here today to commemorate the life and mourn the passing of a great person - Madame Alice Morris - who was tragically lost in a freak llama accident." The priest laid a hand on a whitecasket granitepainted casketsilvery white, being slowly lowered into the earth. "We also commemorate Duskey Morris," he said as he placed his other hand on another casket, this of modest wooden construction, being lowered into an adjacent grave, "who was tragically lost when his sailboat drifted too far from shore and was destroyed by the Kraken, before his body was consumed by sharks." The priest lowered his head for a moment, then stepped to his left, to another pair of gravestones, "And also, we memorialize young Lady Marie Harriet Clementina Blehna and Archibald Andrews of Fanville, who were killed by a stampede of customers running to EA headquarters to demand a refund for their copy of ''SimCity 2013''," he placed a hand on Lady Blehna's casket, constructed of pure Canadian maple wood and draped in a flag of Greenland, "may they rest in peace... and also," stepping to another pair of graves, "we bid fond farewell to Richard Ranaun, who fell into a coma following a terrible spline reticulation accident and did not recover, and to Guilherme Guerreiro, who died after being given a rose by Sir Ecks and suffering a severe allergic reaction," He placed his free hand on both caskets in turn, then walked again to his left, "And to brave Asora Turner and Lord George of Gibbons, who perished during the great Corymach War -"