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--'''[[User:Woganhemlock|<font face="Trebuchet MS" color="black">W</font>]][[User_blog:Woganhemlock|<font color="orange">H</font>]] <sup>[[User_talk:Woganhemlock|<font color="grey">(Talk)</font>]]</sup>''' 00:09, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
===Epilogue: Dearly Beloved===
"Dearly beloved," the priest droned on, dressed in all black and holding his scriptures beside a freshly-dug grave, "we are gathered here today to commemorate the life and mourn the passing of a great person - Madame Alice Morris - who was tragically lost in a freak llama accident." The priest laid a hand on a white granite casket, being slowly lowered into the earth. "We also commemorate Duskey Morris," he said as he placed his other hand on another casket, this of modest wooden construction, being lowered into an adjacent grave, "who was tragically lost when his sailboat drifted too far from shore and was destroyed by the Kraken, before his body was consumed by sharks." The priest lowered his head for a moment, then stepped to his left, to another pair of gravestones, "And also, we memorialize young Lady Marie Harriet Clementina Blehna and Archibald Andrews of Fanville, who were killed by a stampede of customers running to EA headquarters to demand a refund for their copy of ''SimCity 2013''," he placed a hand on Lady Blehna's casket, constructed of pure Canadian maple wood and draped in a flag of Greenland, "may they rest in peace... and also," stepping to another pair of graves, "we bid fond farewell to Richard Ranaun, who fell into a coma following a terrible spline reticulation accident and did not recover, and to Guilherme Guerreiro, who died after being given a rose by Sir Ecks and suffering a severe allergic reaction," He placed his free hand on both caskets in turn, then walked again to his left, "And to brave Asora Turner and Lord George of Gibbons, who perished during the great Corymach War -"
"Wait a minute!" A woman in the crowd stood and shouted, "We're not dead!"
"Yeah!" Lord George stood beside Asora Turner, "We've just retired."
"Yeah, don't you know? Lord George moved to California, and he stole a kid's liver," Auror said.
"Well in that case, who did we place in the caskets then?" The priest wondered. As he said this, a new person walked into the crowd.
"Hello," he said. No one replied. Then he said very quickly, "ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand. ChanServ Danny LiR MrC [ auror away cats Chiyo Crichton Deux_ex_machina Jas k6ka lostlabyrinth Magicobiwan Margo mrs_girl skasturi xnrand."
"HYAAAA!" A young man drinking maple syrup jumped up from the crowd, lept into the air, and karate kicked the babbling man out of the funeral. "He'll be back. Let's set this funeral to mode +r."
"In any case," the priest continued, "however these people died, let's remember them, and then never speak of them again. It's time for a new story."
----
A light rain fell as the crowd left the burial. A young man dressed in black descended from the cemetery to the parking lot. He stood for a moment by his car, and was joined by the mysterious maple syrup guzzling man.
"It's good to see you, Lieutenant Kay Ay."
"You as well, Captain Liron." Mr. Kay Ay said. "We'd better get back to the station. Officer Syde is probably going to have another lead for us in the ILS5 case."
"Wait a minute," Liron said, "we're waiting for someone - oh, here he comes!" Another man, younger and waving a Portuguese flag, ran up beside the pair. He saluted to both in turn.
"Captian. Lieutenant. Officer Dan Pin, reporting for duty."
"Good to have you aboard," Liron said.
"Now hop in the squad car, we've got lots of work ahead of us down at the station." Mr. Kay Ay said, getting into the driver's seat of the squad car.
"Hey Liron," Officer Pin said as they got into the vehicle, "You should see this!"
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop saying my name?" Liron yelled as he slammed the car door shut.
<center>'''Fin'''</center>
----
'''''Coming this fall''' to the Sims Broadcasting Network:''
;Plumb(b)ob PD
''Life on the streets of Sims Wiki is hard. It takes a team of dedicated cops to keep them clean!''
Starring:
*Lord Liron, the Police Cheif, who is set on finding the evil llama that killed his mother. He's not above [[TSW:BOLD|boldly acting]] and pushing the envelope.
*Mr. Kay Ay, a cop on loan from the big city (Wikipediopolis), who is very by-the-book and often cites his big city regulations.
*Officer Syde, the over-eager cadet who sometimes bites off more than he can chew.
*Officer Pin, the young Portuguese officer with secrets of his own.
*Ben C, the department's tech expert.
*Delta, the mysterious robot given to the police department long ago.
*and Steve, the Police Department's butler... wait, do police departments use butlers?
'''Coming this fall, Thursdays at 10:00!'''
<small>Check your local listings. Information subject to change</small>
-- '''[[User:LostInRiverview|<font color="navy">LostInRiverview</font>]]<sup> [[User_talk:LostInRiverview|<font color="green">talk</font>]] • [[User_blog:LostInRiverview|<font color="green">blog</font>]] • [[Special:Contributions/LostInRiverview|<font color="green">contribs</font>]]</sup>''' 07:53, April 18, 2015 (UTC)
[[Category:Fan fiction]]
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